


The Confession Booth

by livsackler



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Brief mentions of absent parents and foster family, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rey is bossy af, Slow Burn, Slow burn and that's canon, This is an easy read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25553578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livsackler/pseuds/livsackler
Summary: Ben runs a booth where students can tell their secrets anonymously to the person on the other end to listen. When popular girl Rey drops by to confess that she has a crush, the last person Ben thinks it is him, because last time he checked, they hated each other.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 224
Kudos: 569





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who does he think he is?” The girl seethes with anger. “What can’t he stay in his lane and not cross mine? And don’t say it’s because we go to the same school, I know that, but it’s so hard!” 
> 
> “What happened?”
> 
> “He assaulted me! With his sparkly, hazel eyes.” 
> 
> “His eyes?” He deadpans. High school girls are so dramatic. 
> 
> “He has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. I could drown in them – he’s out to kill me I swear. How am I supposed to deal with that? I’m already suffering enough from liking a,” she shudders, “nerd. Now he thinks he can just look at me whenever and however he wants.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my high school enemies to friends to lovers AU!! I’ve always been very interested in confessionals so I thought this would be a fun way to mix it up. I hope you enjoy this one! Huge 
> 
> huge thanks to [hellyjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean) for the moodboard! She is such an AMAZING writer too 🥺🤍

“Sometimes I like to sniff my pits.”

Ben pinches the bridge of his nose between his eyes. _Calm down, calm down, calm down_ , he takes a deep breath and chants silently over and over again. Admittedly, this is not the weirdest thing he has heard so far, but it has set the bar for the day. 

But he cannot complain, after all, he was the one who initiated the idea. The student council has been looking for a new initiative to help the student community. Lots of teenagers these days need an outlet to vent to, but it’s difficult to find someone willing to just _listen_. They do have a guidance counsellor, but no one likes talking to him. 

After a trip to IKEA and with some help from the teachers, they make a little booth similar to a confessional – one side for the listener and their other side for the speaker. The entrance for each side is covered by a long, opaque curtain borrowed probably from the theatre kids. Within each confined spaces is a single-seat, with sufficient room for just one person. The seats are separated by a thin piece of plywood, with a small square cut out and covered with a dark piece cloth, just enough for the other listener to hear what the speaker has to say. 

The student council takes turns in pairs to tend the booth, one sitting in the booth while the other sits at the “registration” counter. At an affordable price of a dollar, which will be contributed to the school budget, the student will get ten minutes to tell their secrets and worries anonymously, knowing that someone is sitting on their other side listening. The listener is not allowed to give any advice though, but they can ask prompts to encourage further sharing. 

It is the first week of running the confession booth and they have seen a decent number of students coming by to share their deep dark secrets. 

“Do you think I’m weird?” The boy on the other side asks.

Ben opens his eyes and sits up, checking the clock in front of him, 5 more minutes to go. His shift has only started, and he cannot wait to get out of here if this was what he was going to listen to all day. 

“Hello?” 

Ben sighs. “The booth is only to tell your secrets; we cannot offer you any advice.” 

“Why not?” 

“It’s the rules. If you’re looking for some advice, you can head over to the guidance counsellor’s room.” The rules are as stated on the posters all around school and outside of the booth. Clearly, some people do not read the fine print. 

“Then what’s the point?” He bellows.

Ben clenched his jaw. “The rules are the rules.” He cannot be bothered to give any further explanation, especially how rude the boy on the other side is being. 

“I want my money back!” He shouted. 

Ben rolls his eyes. Fortunately, the ten minutes are up and the timer beeps. “Your time is up.”

“Wait–”

“If you have any concerns, questions or complaints, feel free to drop them into the mailbox at the student council room next door. Thank you for coming.”

With a grumble, he left and Ben slumps over the chair. This is not the best way to start his shift. 

He hears the curtains rustle once more, indicating that another visitor has entered the booth. Ben props his elbow on one knee and bends his wrist to rest his chin on the back of his hand. Only one visitor and he is already feeling worn out. He does not have high hopes for the next.

“Welcome to the confessions booth,” he chirps.

“Hello?” A soft, velvety voice echoes the room. Ben perks up a little. She sounds nice and genuine like she had something real to tell.

“Do I just tell my secret and go?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Am I going to get into trouble for anything I say?” she asks again. 

“All secrets are confidential unless they are a cause for concern, which will then be brought up to the guidance counsellor.” And they were very serious about that rule. 

“Right okay, I’m not, you know.” She clarifies. “I just wanted to make sure.’

“So what brings you here today?” She only has ten minutes in the booth, and she has already used up her first minute. He wants to make her money’s worth.

“I think I have a crush.” 

Ben nods his head at her words even though they cannot see each other. Crushes were a common topic of secret brought to the booth. They were simple and fun, and Ben always enjoyed hearing the stranger on the other side talking about how great their crush is. And how much they wanted to show their crush how much they liked them. Or how flustered and nervous they got from seeing them. 

His heart warms with theirs when there is positive progress with their crushes, and aches along with their heartbreaks when it does not work out. 

“I know it isn’t a big deal or anything,” the girl continues, “but it kinda freaks me out. Crushes aren’t my thing, y’know? People crush on me, not the other way round.”

Ben rolls his eyes with a smile. Whoever she is, she is confident, and probably popular. She sounds like one of the popular girls in school, the ones who were not afraid to state their opinion for everyone to hear and flaunt down the hallways with their holier than thou attitude. 

Ben thinks those type of girls are the untouchables, or at least, out of his league. They used to intimidate him. Now standing at 6’3? Hardly. 

But being in this booth and getting popular students like her to confess their secrets like this makes him realise that they are just like everyone else. Plus, now he feels like he has the upper hand just for knowing her secret, even if she does not know her or the name of her crush. 

“Anyway,” the girl continues, “it has been bugging me so much because I can’t stop thinking about him. And the worst part is, he a huge, freaking nerd. Seriously. How is this possible? I’m too pretty for that.” 

Ben chocks, literally. Saliva burns his throat and he coughs out, trying to dislodge it from his windpipe. 

“Are you okay?” She asks. Ben reaches for his water bottle and takes a big gulp down.

“I’m fine, continue.” 

“If you’re going to judge me, I’m leaving. I read the fine print.” 

She was one of the few people who read their ‘no judgement zone’ clause on their poster. Ben is surprised that someone like her would read the little details that he had inserted. Now, he appreciates her a bit more.

“I’m not judging you.” He finally answers after his coughing fit. 

“Sure,” she answers, sounding unconvinced. But she went on. “It’s just that this is all so unexpected. My feelings are all over the place and I can’t tell any of my friends about this.”

_Typical_ , Ben thinks to himself. _She’s probably too embarrassed for that_. 

“You promise you're not going to tell anyone, are you?” She asks nervously.

“Even if I wanted to tell, I don’t know who you are.” 

“So?” Rey purses her lips.

“We are one hundred per cent confidential; I promise.”

“Is that in writing or something?” 

“If you’re so worried about your secret getting out, you don’t have to come back.” He tells her flatly.

“You should be the one who’s worried,” she huffs. She is intimidating. 

The timer beeps. 

“Your time is up.” 

“Wow, great, I just wasted ten minutes of my life.” 

She pushes herself off the seat roughly to express her disdain. As she brushes past the heavy curtains and steps out of the booth, Ben is left bemused. 

What a strange day it has been. 

* * *

At the end of the school day, Ben gathers the money in the box and offers to head over to the student council room next door to drop it off. Some of the council members were in the room getting some studying done. He makes some small talk before bidding them goodbye and heading out. 

The halls are empty during the late afternoon, which is great because Ben is not a big fan of crowded places. With his backpack slung on one of his shoulders, he thinks about the overwhelming pile of homework he has and which one he should complete first. 

He hears them laughing before he saw them. After school hours meant after school practices which meant them. The volleyball girls. The pride of the athletic department along with the boys’ basketball team. 

They are not too bad at all, but everyone acts like own the place. 

There were only three of them this time as they step outside of the gymnasium, each bitcher than the first with their short shorts and gym bangs hanging off their shoulders and knee pads pulled down to their ankles. 

Rose, Kaydel and Bazine. Of course, he knows their names, everyone does. Rose and Kaydel are the top two libero players in the team – the best position for their height. 

Ben tries to walk nearer towards the side of the hallway, trying to make himself invisible so that he can pass by without notice. He is not scared of them, technically. Based on their success, they were practically on the same plane, except they will get an athletic scholarship and he will take an academic one. He just wants to steer clear, away from trouble. 

One of their bags collides into his thigh, knowing them both down. He stumbles back, managing to catch himself on a set of lockers before he can trip over his feet and topple backwards on the floor. That is the last thing he wants. Maybe the second last thing he wants because the _last_ thing that he really wants, is to be noticed by her. 

And there he is, flattened against a set of lockers looking very much like the loser he feels in the moment with her eyes staring at him as if he has just offended her severely. He might as well have, considering the girl he ran into is Kaydel, who was also the captain of the volleyball team. 

But Ben is not afraid of Kaydel, she was friendly and sweet, the kind of girl who will not lash out at others or make snide remarks. She is easy-going and a little shy, which does not fully reflect her true self when she is on the court playing defensive, diving on the court to save the ball for her team. 

He cannot say the same for her other teammates though, especially Rey. Kaydel’s teammate with the stupidly nice chestnut hair and disgustingly charming laughter and ridiculously toned legs and the overrated beauty she has (especially her freckles). 

Unfortunately, Ben had the privilege of sharing a class with her. Week after week, he watches the guys flirt with her while the other girls envy yet swoon over her. Teachers let her off easy with her lame excuse of always having practice, after all, she was one of the star players of the team. 

Sometimes during presentations, Rey would take a peek at her cue cards when she fails to memorise her speech, and the way she did that would leave giggles around the room. 

Rey is a force that never seems to go away and was always there. Always around. Always taunting him in the farthest corner of his mind and will not get lost. 

Rey is the one Ben cannot stand. He hates her. 

“Accident prone much?” Rey snaps at him.

Ben wants to bite back. He wants to knock her down, make her chest burn in embarrassment and her stomach go weightless but he has nothing. He was thrown off his game at her sudden appearance in her wonderfully fitted practice outfit. And Ben never did well with multiple people staring at him at once. 

“Sorry,” Ben mumbles, directing his apology to Kaydel, and partly to Rey. 

Rey rolls her eyes and helps Kaydel to get back on her feet, asking her in the sweetest voice if she was okay. She cannot be bothered to ask if he is okay. Deep down, a part of him was hoping that she would care. But she did not. No one else did either. 

Ben straightens himself out and storms down the hallway, wondering why he even cared about her in the first place. 

* * *

The same time the next day, Ben is back at his booth. He thinks that he has probably woken up on the wrong side of the bed because every single secret is driving him insane. He is ready to inform the president of the student council that he wants the booth taken down. That the booth is not working the way he has planned, and that the council members who took precious time out of their busy schedule – albeit the start of the school term – to sit and listen to the woes of the student population are just soundboards for weirdos to get their weird, feral thoughts out of their chest.

But he knows what Poe would say, something wise like, “Just because it doesn’t mean anything to you means it doesn’t mean anything to them.” And that is why he is the president and Ben is the vice. 

“I can’t stand him.” Ben was so lost in his trail of thought, thinking of an excuse to have the booth taken down, that he did not notice someone slipping into the other side of the booth. 

“Who?”

“My crush, obviously. Learn to keep up!” 

_Gosh_ , Ben thinks to himself, _what’s up with her this time?_

“Who does he think he is?” The girl seethes with anger. “What can’t he stay in his lane and not cross mine? And don’t say it’s because we go to the same school, I know that, but it’s so hard!” Rey quickly adds. 

He remembers his conversation with her yesterday vividly and he smiles. He is so intrigued by this stranger that he cannot help but prompt her to share more. “What happened?”

“He assaulted me! With his sparkly, hazel eyes.” 

“His eyes?” He deadpans. High school girls are so dramatic. 

“He has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. I could drown in them – he’s out to kill me I swear. How am I supposed to deal with that? I’m already suffering enough from liking a,” she shudders, “nerd. Now he thinks he can just look at me whenever and however he wants.” 

Ben bites on his lips, trying to hold his laughter back. This is possibly the funniest thing he has heard all afternoon. He reminds himself over and over again that this is a no judgement zone. He is grateful to be her listener and her, alone, is enough for him to consider retracting his proposal of getting rid of the booth for now. If she comes by more often, he will not mind. 

“Maybe that’s how he looks,” Ben blurts out, trying to keep up with the girl’s thoughts. 

“Are you calling him ugly?” 

“No, I–”

“He’s not ugly, I don’t like ugly people.” Ben squeezes at the space between his eyes. This girl is one of a kind. One moment she is complaining about his looks, and the next she is defending him.

“I wish he would disappear.” 

And now, she swings back to being hurtful. This time, Ben is unable to hold back a snicker. She was being so silly, but he can sympathise, love makes people go absolute bonkers.

“I’m serious,” the girl presses, annoyed by his amusement. “It would be so much easier than this. I hate this feeling!” 

Ben sobers up quickly and sits up straight. “Easier than telling him?”

“Are you crazy? There’s no way I’m gonna do that.”

“Why not? It’s the twenty-first century, girls can tell boys how they feel.” 

“It’s not that,” she says hesitantly. “It’s… it’s because we don’t even talk.”

Ben raises an eyebrow at her response. How peculiar. Ben mind wonders, trying to piece together the pieces to figure out what kind of dynamics this girl and her crush have. 

“I know what you’re thinking, how can I like someone I don’t talk to?” She takes a deep breath in annoyance. Ben can almost feel her rolling her eyes behind this plywood wall. “It’s possible, I promise. Not exactly love at first sight but like, y’know.”

“I think I get what you mean.” Ben is trying to understand, at least. Admiring someone from afar, was something he was not foreign to, maybe he had done that a couple of times. 

“I wish I could talk to him,” she signs. 

“What’s stopping you?” 

“I thought you weren’t allowed to give advice,” she snaps. 

“It’s just a question.” 

“Don’t ask questions.”

“Okay, fine, no questions then,” he agrees to her demands, lifting both his hands up to admit defeat. 

A few seconds of silence pass by. “I’m done taking. Is my time up yet?” 

Ben looks over at the clock, he has forgotten to even start the timer. “Yes.”

“Great.” 

And just like that, she was gone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think, you have no idea how important your comments are in helping me shape my story 💛
> 
> 🖤[livsackler.carrd.co](http://livsackler.carrd.co/)🖤


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are you being nice to me?”
> 
> “Why can’t I be nice to you?” He grits his teeth, trying to calm himself down. “Forget I said anything.” 
> 
> Ben picks his bag up ready to leave her behind.
> 
> “Wait! I’m coming along!” She jumps up with her gym bag. He has never seen her move so fast, not even on the court. She slings her bag over her shoulder. “Don’t you pull anything funny,” she warns and shifts closer to Ben as he opens his umbrella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a little more time this week and I love writing this story so here's another chapter!! whee. 
> 
> Also, I sorta increased the chapter count. 
> 
> Also, the problem with timezones is all my fics are backdated and I need to update the publication date like 12 hours later so that my fic doesn't get lost in the sea of yesterday's updates. If you're getting double emails I'm so sorry 😭😭
> 
> Another huge shoutout for this other moodboard by [hellyjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean)!!

One of Ben’s role as the Vice President of the student council is to ensure that the posters and signs put up by the various clubs were pasted in the right location and followed the school’s guidelines. 

With his notebook in hand, he made his rounds around the noticeboard all over the school, going down his list to make sure that each club. He heads over to the gymnasium to check out the noticeboard there. 

Ben is completely engrossed with the work that he fails to notice her sitting nearby, perching on the top of the seats. Normally, Rey is hard to miss. She was radiant and loud, even when she is quiet, like a…ray of sunshine. Ben _always_ notices her even if he does not want to. His eyes always somehow gravitate towards her. 

“What are you doing here?” The stern yet sweet voice from behind takes him by surprise that he almost drops his pen and notebook in his hands. 

He turns around to see Rey straddling on one of the benches, textbook and notepad in her lap, at the far corner of the gym. Her bag is strewn on her side. Ben thinks that this is such an unusual place to get work done but to each her own. 

_Maybe she misses training so much she wants to spend more time in the gym_ , he thinks to himself. “Working,” he answers dryly.

“Right, you’re part of the student council.”

“Vice President,” he adds. He is not just a member of the student council; he is the backbone of it. 

“As expected.”

Ben glances around the gymnasium in search for her other team members, but soon realises that it is just her. This makes Ben a little more nervous. 

“Did you study for your chemistry test?” 

Ben raises an eyebrow. Is Rey really asking him about the only class they have together? It is not like they have anything to talk about and he did not see the need for her to pretend as if she cares about him. They do not even talk, inside or outside of class. If anyone knew that they have been in the same chemistry class for a few years now, they would think that they are avoiding each other. 

Rey is the popular and gorgeous girl in school and Ben is just Ben. Tall, lanky, probably a little too nerdy for an average student to be. Their circle of friends never overlapped, and their interests were practically opposites. Ben is into academic clubs and student bodies, while Rey is into sports clubs. 

It is difficult for Ben to figure out why of all times but now Rey is bringing up a harmless question of the test. _Does she want my help, or does she just want to copy my answers during the next test?_ Ben rolls his eyes at that thought. 

He shrugs in answer.

“Right. I bet you never have to study for anything.”

If Rey was trying to compliment him, she has completely missed the mark. “That’s not true.”

“Don’t be so modest,” Rey laughs haughtily, the warm and light sound of her laughter filling up space between them. “Everyone knows you’re the top of the class.” 

“That’s not true,” Ben denies, even though it is kind of true. The top three in class are always the same few people and he as one of them shuffled back and forth between who was first, second and third. Right now, Ben is probably second. 

“Right.”

“Yeah, _right_ ,” Ben mimics her, inside he is growing with irritation. “Don’t act as if you know me.” 

She inspects her emerald nails cooly. They match beautifully to her hazel-green eyes. “Acting isn’t really my thing. If I wanted to be an actress, I’d be in the theatre club.” 

"Well, you’re doing a good job of it now,” Ben spits. Rey furrows her brows at his response, and he scoffs at her feigned confusion. “As if you’d care about me. You probably just want to copy my answers during the test.”

“It was only a question, it’s not that deep, Ben.” She bites back. “Plus, I don’t need to copy your answers, I don’t need to pass with flying colours to get an athletic scholarship.” She folds her arms to her chest and tilts her head at him. There is the snarky Rey he knows. 

But his name rolling off her tongue is enough to catch Ben off guard that he cannot think of a witty comeback. It never occurred to Ben that she knows his name. He knows a name too, but it feels weird hearing it come out of her mouth. Almost like they were familiar with each other. Like she has been practising the shape of his name and how it would fill her mouth. 

Ben clenches his not book tighter, trying to keep his cool. He does not know why it is getting hotter in here and his palms feel clammy. Maybe he is mad that she has the nerves to act like they are friends when they are not. Or maybe because he is extremely attracted to her and being close to her and having a conversation with her is enough to get him hot and bothered. 

Ben clears his throat. “I have to finish up with my rounds.” 

“Whatever, not like I care,” Rey shrugs at him and looks back down at her textbook and notebook in her lap. 

Turning his back, Ben quickens his pace, hoping to get out of here as quickly as he can. 

* * *

“We talked!” He can hear the excitement in her voice.

She is back for the third time. Damn, if she becomes a regular customer at the booth, he should up the fee. 

“You did?” he prompts.

“It was a really short conversation, like five minutes or something.” 

That sounds nice. The last time anything thrilling has happened to Ben was in middle school when he was made fun of for his ears. Nevertheless, he was flattered by the show of interests by his school mates, considering how awkward and tall of a kid he was back then. Honestly, he still is awkward and tall, except he is not a kid anymore. 

If Ben does not get to be the protagonist of his own high school romance, he is fine living vicariously through the anonymous students coming by the booth. 

“What did you talk about?”

“Class,” she answers plainly.

“That’s all?”

“Yup,” she pops the ‘p’. “He’s not that easy to talk to, nerds are weirdos.” Rey shifts uncomfortably in her seat and Ben thinks that a part of her probably feels guilty for constantly mocking the person she has a crush on. 

“What so weird about them?”

“For starts, they actually like studying.” She makes a gagging noise behind the wall to show her disdain. 

“Maybe he doesn’t like you.” He offers, and he mentally hits himself at his somewhat mean comment.

“I don’t think so. He’s too nice to hate anyone. Well, he’s nice when he’s not being a jerk to me.”

“I thought you guys don’t talk.”

“Firstly, you don’t need to talk to someone to know they’re a jerk,” she snapped. “And secondly, we did talk, and he was being a jerk!” Ben hears her muttering something under her breath, but he cannot exactly make out what she said, something along the lines of ‘rude’ and ‘asshole’.

“Listen,” she adds on. “I had this entire thing planned out. I would ask him about our shared class together and then ask him if he would be willing to help me with homework. Not that I care about homework, but I would pretend I do just to get some alone time with him.” 

“That’s a pretty impressive idea though, kudos to you for that.” 

“Whatever, it didn’t work anyway,” she sighs. “He blew me off.”

“I don’t know! I even complimented him! I thought nerds liked it when you say something nice about their brain and how academically inclined, they are.” 

Rey stretches her shoulders and slouches back into the chair, arms folded. She is very annoyed that her well-thought-out plan didn’t work, and a part of her felt humiliated by the encounter. 

“I’m sure you can think of other ways to compliments them, not just their brains.”

“Here you go, giving advice again,” the girl points out. 

“You’re right, sorry. Please continue.” 

“I mean what else is there to do?” She sounds genuinely perplexed by the plight she is in. “I can’t go up to him and tell him that he looks like a Greek god. That’s at least a second date material. And right now, we’re not even at the sit-with-me-at-lunch base yet.”

“Do you want my advice or not?”

“Haven’t you been doing that all along?” She snorted. Ben chuckles at her words. 

“Start small. Why don’t you get to know him better?”

“Why don’t you get to know him better,” she mimics him mockingly. Ben cannot bear to be offended by her when he hears a deep sigh. “What if he doesn’t want to get to know me?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“If you knew me, you would be disappointed.” Ben cocks his head in interest. 

_So she isn’t as stuck up as I think she is, huh. Under her tough exterior is someone capable of feeling insecure_ , Ben thinks to himself. “Just be yourself.” 

“That’s the problem.”

“You’re the problem?” 

“Him not realising what a catch I am is the problem,” she growls. “How am I supposed to be myself when he doesn’t see me anyway? I just want to be seen, by him. And it sounds so stupid for me to say this because I’ve never had any problems getting anyone else to do so.”

Lost for words, Ben attempts to get out of the conversation. “The booth is only to tell your secrets; we cannot offer you any advice.”

“Wow, hypocrite.”

“Sorry.” He wishes the girl could see his apologetic smile. He wants to be more helpful, but he has long overstepped his boundaries, he would get into trouble big time if anyone knew of it. Plus, he did not want to interfere with her situation. If anything goes wrong, he could be liable. 

For once, he is sad that ten minutes is up.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.” The chair shifts back but he did not hear any more sounds. “Do you genuinely think being myself would work? You can answer me since the time is up.”

She is bending the rules, but Ben is okay with it, after all, he has broken the rules multiple times, especially when he is with her. 

“How can someone like what they don’t know?”

She pauses. “Are you sure you’re not a real guidance counsellor?” 

“I’m positive.” 

* * *

The following weekends with a rainy afternoon.

Heading to his locker to put his things down and pick up his umbrella, he heads for the exit. Many students along the hallway complain about the rain ruining their Friday night plans but Ben does not care. He has tons of homework to do and has to craft up new ideas future fundraising events. 

He barely has time to think about himself, let alone notice the prick of a human by the side of the main entrance. 

He tries his best to ignore her but Rey is difficult to ignore. Considering she was sitting down with her legs splayed on the floor, gym back by her side, scrolling away on her phone. 

Any other day, Ben would look away and head home. But the sight was odd because it was getting late. And if he remembers correctly, sports teams do not have practice on Fridays, unless she had other activities going on today. 

“It’s rude to stare,” she hisses. 

Just like that, any care or concern he has evaporated.

“Wait, are you leaving?”

“Do you think I live in school too?” He says flatly.

Rey scowls, and her facial expression quickly changes into a glare. “I hope your umbrella breaks.” 

Ben takes a few steps closer to her and drops his backpack by her. He should not have stopped. He should just keep walking and mind his own business, go home, have dinner and get some homework tonight. 

But his gut feeling felt like it was the right thing to do. He finds himself forcing words out of his mouth. “Why are you still here?”

“Waiting, duh.”

“For your mom?”

She stares at him like he had said something nonsensical. “For the rain to stop, hello! I’m not a weather forecaster, how was I supposed to know it would pour today? I’m not masochist looking to catch a cold, and I can’t afford to miss any of my training, so I’ll wait.” 

“I can drive you back, or something.” He blurts out. Damn his conscience.

Rey answers without looking up from her phone. He was hoping that she lived far out from here so that he can give her an excuse that he cannot drive her back. Surprisingly, she lives rather nearby. He was hoping she lived in the nicer part of town so he can mock her about how she could ask her butler to pick her up. But he cannot because she does not. 

He pulls out his phone from his back pocket and looks at the time. The rain is not going to stop anytime soon and if she stays continues to stay here, she might miss dinner. 

“Do you want me to drive you back?”

Rey finally looks up. She stares at him wide-eyed, and at this moment Ben wishes that the floor would engulf him. “What?”

“I don’t think the rain will stop anytime soon; I can give you a lift.” 

The hopeful look on her face melts into scrutiny. “Are you making fun of me?”

“Why… why would I?”

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“Why can’t I be nice to you?” He grits his teeth, trying to calm himself down. “Forget I said anything.” 

Ben picks his bag up ready to leave her behind.

“Wait! I’m coming along!” She jumps up with her gym bag. He has never seen her move so fast, not even on the court. She slings her bag over her shoulder. “Don’t you pull anything funny,” she warns and shifts closer to Ben as he opens his umbrella.

The umbrella fans out easily over them but it is a very tight fight considering how large Ben is alone. Ben figures that it was best to sacrifice his bag so that she can get more shelter, while Rey tried her best not to bump into this large tree to no avail. 

“Way to go, parking at the furthest lot,” she snarls. Ben decides to be nice and ignore her.

Rey can barely keep up with Ben’s large strides and she grabs onto his forearm to slow him down. Not like she can keep up when he is more than half a head taller than her. 

His skin sizzles at her touch but he keeps his composure. She keeps her hand on him for the rest of the walk to his car. 

To Rey’s surprise, he kindly opens the passenger door for her to slip in. Half her gym bag is wet, but she decides not to give a snarky remark this time. 

She forces out a thank you. 

The drive is tense and silent. Ben keeps his eyes on the road while Rey stares out of the window and watch the water bounce off the glass in awe. 

Suddenly, they hear the sound of his ringtone, and his mother’s name pops up on the screen. Ben presses onto one of the steering wheel buttons to answer the call with her on loudspeaker.

“Hello?” Ben speaks out.

“Hi Ben, where are you? I thought you’ll be home early today.” Leia calls out.

“Sorry, I was caught up with student council stuff. I just drove out of school and I’m dropping a friend off first.” 

“A friend? Who?” 

“Uh…” He glances nervously to the girl sitting in the passenger seat. “It’s Rey.” 

“Hi, Mrs Solo!” Rey says radiantly.

_She knows my last name she knows my last name she knows my last name._

“Hi Rey, so lovely to meet you. Ben’s driving you home?” 

“Yeah, so nice of him to offer.” 

“Why don’t you swing by for dinner tonight? I’m cooking. I love meeting Ben’s friends.”

“Moooommmmm….” Ben groans and rolls his eyes. “She’s probably busy.” 

“I would love to,” Rey replies. 

“You what?” he shakes his head and blinks, clearly taken aback her agreeing to another one of his mother’s antics. _God, they’re like the same person, both equally annoying_ , he thinks to himself.

“I would love to come over for dinner,” she smirks at him. 

_This is a bad idea, a really bad idea. I should’ve just left her behind._

“Fine, whatever, suit yourself.” Ben 

“Ben! Don’t be rude,” Leia berates.

“Okay, mom, ugh. See you later.” 

“Bye Mrs Solo!” Rey says sweetly. 

“Bye, you two.” 

Ben hangs up the call as soon as his mother bids goodbye. 

“What was that for?” He asks Rey, frowning. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t had a homecooked meal in a long time.” She looks down at her phone, scrolling away. Rey is glad that Ben is driving, she does not think she would be able to look at him in the eye. 

He does not know what to say, maybe it is better if he does not say anything at all. He nods in acknowledgement.

“Anyway. About that day, I didn’t mean it like that,” she adds. Her voice was now so soft, he could have missed it. Ben stops at a red light, and he takes this opportunity to look at Rey and realises that she is looking at him with hesitant eyes. This is so unlike her. “About not having to study.”

_Is she bringing up this old argument?_ Ben raises an eyebrow. He would think that she has long forgotten about their short exchange in the gymnasium. It is bizarre that she is bringing it up again.

“We all have to work hard.” 

“I know,” Ben replies. “Do you?”

“Jeez!” She took a breath in and let it out in a huff. She stops using her phone and puts it down on her lap. “Fine, I don’t know you. There. I admit it. Are you happy now? Are you going to let me apologise or what?”

“Oh, is that what you’re trying to do?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” She snarls at him.

“Coming from you, yes.” 

“You act like I’m an asshole or something.” 

“And you’re not?” he asks, bemused.

“Yeah. I’m no Little Miss Sunshine and we’ve only ever exchanged two nice words but at least I admitted that I was wrong about you. What’s your excuse?”

_Ouch._

Ben makes a right turn and his presses on the brakes to park his car. Neither of them gets out of the car. 

He looks at her and frowns. He deserved that. Maybe he has been a little harsh. It was rude of him to not hear her full apology no matter how awful it is. Despite everything, Rey is not a terrible person. Maybe she is a lot of other good qualities, like her kindness. Like that time she made sure that Kaydel was okay after he had knocked into her. Maybe she has a heart of gold.

_Wait, whaaattt? Hold it right there._

He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car. It is drizzling. He opens out his umbrella and opens the passenger door with his umbrella above, making sure that they stay dry when they walk to his front door. 

He stands there waiting for her to get out. He begrudgingly holds his arm out, offering to help her step out of the car. 

She does not move an inch. The awkward tension is back, thicker than before. 

Swallowing his pride, he takes a deep inhale. “Apology accepted.” 

“Gee, thanks,” she scoffs. 

“I’m sorry, too. Are we okay now?” 

Rey looks at his hand at her eye level. As his hands drop, she quickly takes it and steps out of the car. “Thanks,” she says, “for keeping me dry.”

“Couldn’t let our star player catch a cold, right?” he jokes.

Rey rolls her eyes. “Yeah, thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Lemme know whatchu think in the comments :) and leave some kudos if you like it 🤲🏻👑


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her eyes flicker up, catching Ben’s sudden sullen expression that she returns with an eye roll.
> 
> “I’m not telling you this because I want your pity.” 
> 
> “Then why are you?” Whatever she told him feels like information exchanged between friends, not between people like them. 
> 
> “If I want you to trust me, I have to start somewhere,” she says plainly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm on a writing roll, with chapter 4 a third done. Also, my mental health is at an all-time low 😙✌🏻

The weekend passes by quickly with Ben spending his Saturday and Sunday focused on getting all his work done. He even managed to squeeze in time to pre-read for his upcoming classes, he had piano classes and he likes them because it helps him take his mind off things. 

On normal Fridays, he would have dinner at home, and a few hours later he would head over to the nearby park for a late-night jog. Because what is a better way to spend your Friday night than all by yourself? Sure, sometimes he would attend parties, but nothing beats the calmness and serenity of running in the park. 

Last Friday evening, he had spent it in the worst way possible – with the person he cannot stand the most on this earth. Rey Johnson. 

They spent their entire dinner bickering, and they did not stop after when they were choosing what movie to watch. Leia had this spectacular idea of asking her to stay for her self-proclaimed movie night, and Rey being Rey, is just too nice to reject her. Or maybe she was doing it on purpose to spite Ben. 

For some peculiar reason, Leia thinks that the two of them are simply adorable together and told Rey that she could come over anytime she wanted. And hopefully, the next time she is over she would get to meet Han – Ben’s dad. 

“You’re getting rather chummy with my mother,” Ben scowls while he looks straight ahead on the road as he drives Rey back to her house. 

“She’s so nice and sweet, unlike somebody,” Rey sneers.

“You think you should be saying this to the person who’s driving you back home?” 

“Fine, I take it back, whatever.” 

* * *

“Guess what!” 

There was something different about this girl today. Her enthusiasm is so alarming it shocks Ben out of his sleepy daze. He has not gotten much rest over the weekend and he is exhausted this Monday morning.

“What?”

“We talked again.” It is obvious she is grinning through the walls, a sly, happy grin. “Like talked-talked kinda talk.” 

Ben finds her excitement rather infectious. “Progress.”

“I know, right?” He can tell that she is trying to hide her soft giggles. “He was really sweet. Still a big jerk, but sweet.”

Ben chuckles. He is happy that things are getting better for her. “What are you going to do next?”

“Ask him out.”

Ben is not sure why his stomach flutters at her courage. Maybe it is because he feels like he is part of this journey too, and it makes him nervous and excited for her. “Whoa.”

“Not in that way, silly,” she snorts. “I’ve given it some deep thought over the weekend. I’ll start small, and I gotta be strategic so he doesn’t know that I’m asking him out.”

Well, that was safer than escalating it quickly. He is glad that she has thought it through. “Good luck,” he wishes her. 

* * *

“Hey, you.”

Ben did not have to look up to know who it was. No one else is this ridiculously loud and annoying. Today, however, he is not in a mood. He is tired and all strung up. And the last thing he needs is Rey encroaching into his already sour mood. 

“I said, hey, you.” 

He closes his eyes and prays that she will take a hint and ignore him, albeit rude that he is ignoring her. Ben is never the type to ignore anyone and he was trying his hardest to do so, especially when Rey is someone hard to ignore. 

He cranes up his neck to look at her. “Hi.” 

“Aren’t you going for lunch?” 

Most of the students have already filtered out to eat. Few straggles behind, gossiping among themselves. Usually, Rey would be out the door along with the masses, hunting down her volleyball team to spend time with. What is with Rey today?

Ben motions to the whiteboard where the teacher had scribbled out notes and workings from their chemistry class that just ended ten minutes earlier. “I want to finish taking down the notes.” 

“Say no more.” Rey immediately whips out her phone and angled it at the board to snap a few pictures of it. It is a smart idea. Ben wonders why he never thought of doing that, perhaps he wanted to make sure he had everything before heading for lunch. “What’s your number?”

He blinks. “My what?” 

“Your phone number. I’ll send you the pictures and you can finish writing down later.” She lifts an eyebrow, thumb over her phone screen, waiting for Ben to drop the digits. 

Ben continues to stare at her, but his expression is unreadable. _What on earth is going on? Is this a dream? Did she fall into a drain on her way to school and hit her head on the pavement when she slipped this morning?_ Several unanswered questions pass through his head. 

His eyes narrow. “What game are you playing?” 

“I’m not playing. I’m trying to get lunch, so hurry up!” 

“Why do I need to hurry up?” He questions her again.

“So we can have lunch together, duh.”

_Okay, this is getting weird._ Ben has to put his pen down to process what is happening. Firstly, Rey is voluntarily speaking to him, all on her own. No pranks, no one to witness, no snide comment. She was speaking to him and – Ben has to take a breath for this one- secondly, wants to eat lunch together? 

Together as in, together, together. Within close proximity. Sharing the same air. In each other’s company. His stomach starts to churn a little. 

_Nah, I must be hearing things. I must be._

“You.” He points a finger to her. “Want to have lunch with, me?” He points that finger back to himself, poking hard on his sternum in disbelief. 

“I wanna make up to you for Friday’s dinner, and the ride back home,” Rey shrugs not so nonchalantly. “But don’t make this a habit. I’m only being nice to you because of what you did last week. And I hate owing people things, so I might as well get over and done with it.” 

Ah, there it is, a thank you delivered on a silver platter topped with her hidden agenda. Ben should have known that it is too good to be true. He does not know why he expected it to be genuine and it confuses him more as to why he felt a sharp pang in his heart. 

Ben swallows down his hurt and picks his pen back up. “I’m good, I’m not hungry.” And possibly at the worst time ever, Ben’s stomach growls.

“I call bullshit.” Rey snatches the pen from his hands and places it in the back pocket of her jeans. “Your stomach has been growling since halfway through class.”

_Was it that loud?_

“You could just say no instead of lying to me.” 

Ben crosses his arms because he feels strangely exposed. He almost feels guilty. He does not want Rey to play the vulnerable card and make him feel bad for making excuses, especially when he least expects it.

“You don’t have to pay me back.”

“I know I don’t have to.” Still standing next to him with arms akimbo, she frowned at him. “But I want to.”

It does not scare Ben; he is definitely not afraid of her. But she manages to do other things to him and that scares him. She makes his heart flutter. 

Rey is the type of girl who gets whatever she wants. Perhaps it is the power of a beautiful face and mighty flirt and a quick tongue that can dismantle any bully. At this moment, her charisma was tearing down his defences that he has set up to protect himself from this very girl. He did not like this feeling one bit but at the same time, he is okay with that. 

“Will you eat lunch with me or not? You don’t pack your lunch, right? I got lunch for you. Or I could just throw the extra away.” 

It is quite odd that she knows his eating habits in school, but Ben keeps that thought for another time. At the moment, he cannot bear the thought of any food going to waste. “Okay.” 

“Good answer,” she beams. “Now let’s go, I’m famished.” She sashays off, his pen still in her back pocket. 

* * *

“What’s wrong with the cafeteria?” 

Ben scrunches his nose as the stale air from the gymnasium fills his lungs. The smell of sweat and rubber is not the most complementary fragrances for lunch takeaway. Not to mention that the place was not only dirty with every surface touched by butts or dirty soles of feet. 

“It’s loud,” she answers, with Ben responding with a scoff considering how loud she is. 

_Pot calling the kettle black_ , he thinks. He trails being her as she picks probably her favourite spot, considering she was also sitting at this very corner the last time he saw found her here. 

“You’re ashamed of me,” he states. There’s no other reason for being here. 

Rey shrugs and sits down. “If that’s what you want to believe, sure.” 

It is humiliating and hurtful. Ben does not want to believe that and he sure as hell does not want to be someone’s dirty little secret. Hiding in the far corner of the gym where no one can see them is not something he feels positive about. 

She digs her gym bag to pull out two Tupperware containers and two sets of metal cutlery. Her hand slips into her bag again to reveal two packets of Capri-sun iced tea. 

“Where did you get those from? Home?” He asks, pointing at the cutlery. 

“Eh, I took borrowed them from the cafeteria.” She does not look at him as she picks up one of the lunch boxes slides it across the bleachers to him. “This is yours.” 

“Thanks,” he mutters under his breath, loud enough for him to hear. 

“Welcome,” she replies. 

They stay quiet like this for a moment, the only sound they hear is the echoes and muffled voices from people in the hallway outside the gym. 

“We were kinda friends once,” she says softly. 

Ben blows air out from his mouth with a sigh. “I don’t think being lab partners for a day counts.” 

“You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“Not as big of a jerk as you for spilling acid on me!” 

“Jesus Christ,” Rey rolls her eyes so hard it almost got stuck at the back of her head. “You’re being _so_ dramatic.”

“I could’ve lost my hand!” He shrieks and narrows his eyes down at her. 

“Ben! It’s diluted acid, wash it off and you’ll be just fine. Your hand’s still intact to your arm, ain’t it?” She purses her lips and tilts her head to the side. 

“Whatever.” 

Ben shifts his focus to his unopened lunch. He holds the container in his hand – it’s still warm. 

Opening the lid carefully, he takes a peep at the content - penne with classic tomato sauce and boiled broccoli, with rosemary chicken. He knows this because it was what Leia had cooked for dinner last week.

Little does he know, Rey had spent all weekend trying out this new recipe, hoping to master it and achieve a similar taste to what Leia had made. Ben does not need to know that know, the last thing she wants is to scare him away with her big fat crush on him. 

“Did your mom make this?” He asks. 

“No, I did.” 

Ben picks up a fork and stabs the penne for a bite. The rich tangy flavour bursts in his mouth. This is for sure not a canned sauce, she made it from scratch. “ _You_ made _this_?”

“What, like it’s hard?” She cocks her head to the side and smirks. She takes a bite of broccoli; they are having the same handmade lunch. “I can make almost anything.”

“That sounds like a sweeping statement,” he says, sceptical. 

“I tasted your mom’s rosemary chicken once and I recreated it. Try it.” She points her fork at the chicken breast in his container. 

Ben takes a bite of it. The tantalizing flavour is distinct, but not overwhelming. It is different from his mother’s cooking; like she took the recipe and improved it. “What did you change up?” 

“Lemon,” she answers with her mouth full of food. 

“I’m actually impressed,” he grins. “Did your mom teach you how to cook?” 

“No.”

“Your dad?”

“Nope,” she replies, popping the ‘p’. “I don’t know who my parents are,” Rey states in possibly the most casual way possible. 

Her eyes flicker up, catching Ben’s sudden sullen expression that she returns with an eye roll.

“I’m not telling you this because I want your pity.” 

“Then why are you?” Whatever she told him feels like information exchanged between friends, not between people like them. 

“If I want you to trust me, I have to start somewhere,” she says plainly. 

The knots in his stomach tighten with another bomb dropped out of nowhere. What started off as a simple thank you lunch turned out to be something deeper, something unexpected. Ben does not know what to do with the new information, and neither does he know what to do with Rey’s honesty. He definitely does not know what to do with his heart thumping so loudly like it is going to explode. 

Dropping his head, he focuses on the food that is left. They both figure that the best thing to do for the rest of lunch remains silent with only the sounds of soft chewing of food and slurping of iced tea. 

When the bell rings, Ben jumped up. Rey sighs and packs everything up. The tension is too great, and he needs to say something, anything. “Thanks for the lunch, it was delicious.” 

“Yea, whatever.” Standing, Rey tosses her bag over her shoulder and walks off. 

Ben scrambles up to follow, making his way down the bleachers to the main door which leads out to the hallway. 

“I’m not ashamed of talking to you. She turns to him yet not looking at him. Her eyes are looking at everywhere else but his, her foot brushing up and down the wooden flooring. It is the first time he sees her so uneasy. “My friends and I haven’t been the nicest to you and you know how they can be. It was either them or the gym.” 

Rey shrugs and walks out of the door, while Ben stays behind and watch her retreat into the hallway, leaving him alone behind. 

Oh. _Oh_. 

For someone as smart as him, he can be really dumb at times. He shakes his head and scratches his hair. He has a lot to think about today. 

* * *

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” 

Ben raise his eyebrow. “Ma’am this s the confession booth, not the guidance counsellor or your best friend.”

She blows air out of her mouth in a huff, causing her lips to vibrate from the pressure. The girl does not seem to be in the mood for jokes or banter today. “I know I’m not the nicest person, but I don’t think I’m a _bad_ person.” 

“What makes you think you’re a bad person?” He prompts.

“To be honest, I think he’s scared of me.”

“And why would he be?” 

“For starters, I haven’t been the poster child for model characters,” the girl grumbles. “Every time he looks at me, it’s either he wants to rip my eyes out or he’s so scared I’ll slit his throat.”

_Jeez, that’s one intense relationship. How do have feelings for someone when you have a relationship like that._ He shudders at the thought. “Why is that so?”

“Because, he…. I…” she struggles to find the right words to express herself. “Because it’s how we’ve always been? I piss him off, he pisses me off back. I make a mean remark, he makes a mean remark back. We always push and pull. And I haven’t been nice to him, I know that. Right now, I wish I could take it all back.” She ends on a sombre note that makes Ben’s mouth heave to a frown. 

He can relate. He knows what it feels like to not be treated in the kindest way and how difficult to see a good person through all of the shit hurled at them. But there is always a little good to be found. 

“Do you know what the crazy thing is?” The girl asks. Her tone was different now. It sounds a little defeated. It sounds like she has made a breakthrough, a revelation. She is not as defensive as before; he might even say he sees some character growth in her. Like she was tired of her antics and realising that it is time to be thoughtful, to see the light of day. 

“What?” he asks, surprised. 

“You can’t repeat this. Or tell anyone. Ever.” 

Ben smiles softly. “I swear. Scout's honour.” 

“I think he’s the one who scares me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you like this story do leave some kudos! and as always, lemme know what you think in the comments.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think I’m getting close.” 
> 
> Ben perks up. This is his favourite ten minutes of the day. “Close?”
> 
> “To having a breakthrough with my redwood-sized crush.”
> 
> “Are you talking about the size of your emotional investment or his physical stature?” 
> 
> “Both. Love knows no bounds.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Bet you thought you've seen the last of me 😗✌🏻

“He’s the one who scares me.”

The regular visitor is back. And that is not what Ben is expecting from her. He leans his head on the plywood panel that divides them, all his curiosity and attention focused on this girl and the new development in her secrets. “Why?”

“I think he’s too good for me, he’s too good for anyone, really.” She exhales a heavy sigh. “I’ve always known him; I’ve always seen him. But just because I don’t talk to him doesn’t mean I don’t notice him. He is always the nicest person, always the smartest person, and he has one of the most captivating facial features I’ve ever seen. I don’t think he knows how alluring he is. Even if he did think know, he’s too modest to say it out loud.”

“He sounds perfect.” 

“No, silly, no one’s perfect,” she insists. “He’s perfectly flawed. And I think that’s what I like about him. He can be mean, too. He fights back when you think he won’t. After all the taunting he gets, he isn’t afraid to be himself. I don’t think I could ever be like that.”

“Why don’t you tell him what you think?”

She snorts. “As if he would believe me.” 

“May he would,” Ben shrugs. “People change, he might understand and see that you have. And I know I’m not supposed to give you advice, but here are my two cents. Whatever you’re doing now, I think you’re trying your best to show yourself to him in a different light. If he doesn’t see the good in you, that’s on him.” He has always been an empathetic individual.

She pauses to absorb all he has said. “Would you?”

Ben stills. He knows how to “handle” this girl when she is snappy and giving smartass comments but not when she’s all quiet and exposed.

He tries to piece everything she has told him together and puts himself in the shoes of both of them. 

This girl seems decent to talk to like this. Under her tough, venomous exterior, she is warm underneath. She is intelligent and calculating, and there is kindness around her eyes that bleeds through the walls when she thinks that no one is paying attention. 

He wonders if she and her special guy have raw and vulnerable conversations together, like the ones they have every time she shows up at the booth. He thinks probably not. 

His mind somehow drifts to thoughts of Rey. She is genuinely nice to talk to when no one is around either. Raw and unapologetic. What would he do if Rey told him she was sorry? What if she means it? What if the entire time they have been at odds for no apparent reason?

But the thing is, he does not think he can forgive her so fast. After all, a few weeks of nicest does not make up for the years of taunting and harassment. 

What if Rey wanted him like how she wants this mysterious guy? Would that change his mind? Ben’s insides warmed at the thought. 

_Wait a minute, that was weird._

“Hello?” She calls out to him, annoyed.

“I would try to,” he answers several moments later. 

Because that is all he can do. Try to understand where she is coming from.

He thinks she should consider talking to the mysterious guy like how she talks to him. This way, maybe the guy will finally see where she is coming from, that this is the real her. Otherwise, their relationship would continue to push and pull.

Why does he care anyway? He does not even know her. Plus, he is no relationship guru, he has never gotten into a relationship before. 

Or maybe he simply cannot stop thinking about Rey and a part of him was hoping that she cared about him all along. 

“I think you can try to…”

The timer beeps and no other words are spoken.

The girl leaves and Ben remains in his chair to wait for the next visitor, wondering about this girl he knows who is not much of his enemy anymore. 

* * *

Lunch dates become a thing.

Well, Ben refuses to call it _that_ out loud but Rey insists. She insists of making Ben clamour his huge, lanky body up on the bleachers and make him eat with her after every chemistry class which coincidentally happens to be the period just before lunch, twice a week. Ben is unsure if he should be relieved or disappointed that lab sessions are not before lunch. The could have had lunch together three out of five days.

The more lunch dates they have together, the less she has to fight with him to come and the less he has to find a way to weasel himself out of it. 

_Rey isn’t that bad,_ Ben gags at the thought. When did he start thinking of that? When did he start looking forward to her popping by his desk when the bell rings, with her going “hey you, let’s go eat,” and refuses to take no for an answer?

He remembers her saying that she has not had a homecooked meal in a while when she came over for dinner a while back. He told Rey at the end of their previous lunch to not bring any food for the next, explaining that he would have his mother prepare something for them instead. 

He told her that when she was walking halfway across the gymnasium, her back facing him. She mutters something along the lines of “finally you’re not mooching off me”. But what he did not get to see was the huge grin on her face.

When telling Leia that he requires two portions of packed lunch, he refuses to explain why. She finds it bewildering that he wants packed lunch when she already gives him allowance for cafeteria food. Fortunately, she does not prompt him further. She supports all his silly antics, after all, he has always been a good (and strange) boy. 

They were not all good lunches though.

“I’m not letting you look-off my paper.” 

“Why not? I need to pass.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you started slacking.”

“I have a brutal training schedule, what makes you think I have the time to study between all of that?”

“Not my problem. But figure it out.”

“I am trying to figure it out right now but you’re being stingy!”

“I’m not being stingy it’s called not committing a crime!”

“Yell at me once more and I’ll show you how well I can commit a crime!”

Rey storms down the bleachers and out of the gymnasium before Ben can (and probably really is not going to) chase after her.

Their petty arguments quickly became “their thing”, it never lasts long though, and by the next class, they are back to speaking terms. 

Ben does not know what to make of their moments spent together. Maybe he is afraid to figure it out, they churn up things buried deep within him. Their bad memories soon shift to the back of his mind to make way for newer, happier memories and thoughts of her. Like the sound of her warm laughter or the way she scrunches up her eyes and holds her belly with one hand when she laughs. 

Or the curvature of her lips when she smiles at him. 

Or the texture of her voice. 

During the lunch period, Ben gets caught up by her voice when Rey was retelling a story about a wild party she and Rose went to once. Another school’s volleyball team was there, and a fight almost broke out. 

Ben does not completely believe her story; Rey has the tendency of exaggerating the little details. Nevertheless, it is enjoyable to listen to her share it. Not to mention how pleasing it is to hear her voice. 

Her voice reminds him of another that he has once (or maybe twice?) listened to drone on and on within the safe confines of a booth. His brows furrow at the familiarity of it.

“Hey! Are you listening to me or not?”

A finger thumps him hard in the forehead. “Hey!”

“You weren’t listening.” 

Ben rubs the sore spot in the middle of his forehead. He can tell it is turning red already. “So you had to injure me?”

“Pay attention to me!”

“Ugh, you’re so needy.” 

“It’s not being needy,” she pouts. “It’s called being polite.”

Ben scoffs and mutters under his breath while he covers up the empty Tupperware box. “I’m surprised you know what that means.”

“Why do you keep doing that?” 

He can hear the hurt in her voice, something he has never heard before. She looks up at him. “Do what?”

“Villainize me.”

He opens his mouth to retort but stops himself before he can make any more sarcastic comments. 

Putting the last container away, Ben shrugs. Momentarily, he cannot bring himself to look at her in the eye. She was feeling vulnerable, just like how she always made him feel. Right now, things are different. 

“You’ve been the villain in my story for a long time,” he admits. 

Rey softens her gaze at him, guilt reflecting in her eyes. “So write a new one. I think I deserve a redemption arc.”

It is a terrible apology, but he is no better. He figures that is just who they are – two people who are bad at words but understand each other.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he offers.

Rey picks up her gym bag and stands up. “Let’s go.” 

Following after her, he convinces himself that the redness of her eyes and nose is due to the gymnasium lighting and nothing more. 

* * *

“I think I’m getting close.” 

Ben perks up. This is his favourite ten minutes of the day. “Close?”

“To having a breakthrough with my redwood-sized crush.”

“Are you talking about the size of your emotional investment or his physical stature?” 

“Both. Love knows no bounds.” 

Ben chuckles at her answer. She sure is dramatic. “What’s the next step?” 

“Making sure,” she hums. 

“Of what?”

“That we’re friends.” 

Ben raises an eyebrow. “How do you plan on doing that?”

“You’ll find out soon, I have a plan.” 

He looks at the timer. They still have five minutes left.

* * *

Another rainy afternoon results in Rey hitching a ride from Ben again. Ben refuses to admit that a part of him was hoping to find Rey lounging by the entrance, not thinking too much into it that Rey is waiting there for him. 

It does not matter anyway, keeping dry and avoid catching a cold is of utmost importance. 

He does not mind when her elbows and shoulders keep bumping to him on the walk towards his car. He does not mind that his bag was getting slightly wet for both of them to fit. He does mind that she was droning away about the other girls on her team and her new training drills. He does not mind that his car is still parked at the furthest lot.

After years of being overlooked by Rey, it was a welcomed change. She was actually speaking to him as if he matters. Like it is normal. This is something he never thought would have happened. 

“So… what do you think we are now?” Rey asks as Ben slips into the driver’s seat. 

“What are you talking about?” He steps on the accelerator pedal and drives on the path to her home. Ben still remembers her address; it has been engraved in his mind ever since the last time he drove her back. He blames it on his stellar memory. 

“Oh, you know,” Rey shrugs. “We are kinda friends now.”

“No, we’re not.” 

“Then what? Enemies?”

Ben does not know why but that question makes him uneasy. He pursues his lips. “We’re stalemates.” 

“Stalemates,” she repeats softly. “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so.” He steals a glance of Rey’s face who was sitting in the passenger seat. She was staring straight ahead, knuckles of her hands clutching onto the strap of her gym bag tightly. Is she…. _nervous_? Her tone does not affirm his guess, but he can feel her body radiate a strange, tense energy that can only mean one thing. It is just the two of them again. “Why does it matter?” 

She furrows her brows, clearly affected. “Why doesn’t it matter to you?”

He fixates his eyes on the road, he cannot look at her now. “It doesn’t _not_ matter to me.”

“What does that even mean?” She asks again, getting more annoyed. 

Through the drizzle and grey haze, Ben can tell that her home is right around the corner. The sooner he reaches, the sooner they can drop this conversation and he will be able to breathe again. “What do _you_ mean?”

“I mean, why is it hard for you to consider that maybe we’re friends?”

He guffaws, loud and sardonic. “We are not friends.” 

“Why not?” 

His shoulders tense up and his jaw tightens. Despite the cool weather from the rain, his skin is on fire and he can feel his hands getting clammy on the steering wheel. 

He licks his lips, stalling for a second more to find an answer. Anything. 

“We just aren’t,” he states plainly. Rey stares at him blankly, arms akimbo. His face is simply unreadable. 

“But why?” She presses. “Why can’t you see that I’m trying?” She puts a palm against her chest like she is squeezing onto her heart.

“Trying to what?” He creases his brows in confusion. 

“Never mind. Forget that I ever tried.” She waves her hand away, and hastily picks up her gym bag, anticipating the car to stop so she can get out and never speak to him again. 

“What’s up with you?”

He stops at her front porch, and she tugs the door handle once to unlock the door. Ben locks it back. She tugs the handle once more. He locks it again.

“Jesus Christ, cut it out!” 

“I’m not letting you go until you explain yourself.” 

“Fine. I’ll say it. You’re the one who’s acting like I just tried to steal tests answers for the entire class when all I ever wanted to be and have been trying to be, is your friend.” 

That hit a nerve. And like a domino effect, everything comes tumbling down. “Friends? We can’t even have lunch together in the public eye! You’re embarrassed by me. I don’t think we’re ready to be friends.” 

Rey tugs the door handle twice, quickly, once to unlock the door and the other to open it. She steps out in the rain and stands by the car, willingly getting herself drenched. Drops of rain streaks down her face like tears. 

Ben swiftly follows, pulling out his umbrella along. He takes a good look at her. She looks so offended and defeated that it stings his heart. 

He opens his umbrella out and rushes to her side, sheltering her from the rain.

“I thought you were okay with going to the gym,” she whispers. 

“I am but…” he struggles to find his bearings. He does not like how unhinged the conversation is making him feel. He feels helpless. “How long are you going to hide us from your friends?”

How long is he going to feel good enough as a secret? How long until she casts him aside? How long until she crushes the fragments of his heart that he has dropped in the palms of her hands?

“Us?” Rey smirks. 

Electricity shoots through his veins. It makes his stomach whirl and chest binge. _Us_. 

There was never an us and now there is something and Rey is throwing words around like 'friends'. It is too much for him to take in at once, he is feeling way too much. Rey has inadvertently unlocked a hidden box inside of him and everything is spilling out – excitement and melancholy. Right now, Rey is the only person in this world who can make him feel both sentiments simultaneously. 

“You… you know what I mean,” he stammers. His heart is hammering against his chest. “People will talk, but they’ll only do it if you let them. I thought you said you weren’t ashamed of me.” 

The words register like a slap to her face. “I’m not!”

Ben scoffs, only so that he feels less regret from what he has said to her earlier about not being friends. 

“Fine!” Rey stomps her foot on the group, splashing up streams of water from a nearby puddle. “If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. From now onwards we’ll be eating at the cafeteria.” 

Suddenly, the fire in his chest burns out. She marches off to her doorstep, not caring whether she is under his umbrella or not since she is already drenched. Ben chases after to shelter her, trying his best to keep her dry. 

Even during their feud he still makes sure she stays dry. The last thing he wants is for her to get sick. At the back of his head (which he refuses to acknowledge he will miss her absence during the 'scheduled' lunch breaks.

“Wait, I didn’t mean it that way–”

Before he can finish his sentence, she slams her front door in his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already completed chapter 5 and I'll be publishing it tomorrow around the same time!  
> Thank you for reading! ❣️


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We can go to your place.”
> 
> Ben stops in his tracks and chokes on his saliva. “Wait, what?”
> 
> “Great. You can help me prep for it.” She claps her hands together. “Are you ready to go now?” 
> 
> “Do I have a choice?” He groans.
> 
> She flashes him a radiant smile and tops it off with a wink. “Nope."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm waaaayyyy toO excited and can't wait to let y'all read chapter 5 so here it is!!!

None of it seems like a good idea, but Rey gave him no choice. The next lunch they have, she veers away from their usual path to the gymnasium and heads over to the cafeteria. 

Ben is a mess, fidgety and nervous. 

He stays in her shadow as they weave through the masses. For someone so big, he feels so small. He feels like everyone was looking at him and scrutinising him. He feels like they are staring at the moles across his face and his bat ears which he is deeply ashamed of. His childhood was essentially built upon his peers making fun of him. The jeering stopped after he had his growth spurt and towers over almost everyone, but that does not mean they will not make fun of him in private. 

He keeps his eyes down, trying not to draw any unwanted attention to himself and rerunning one bad scenario after another on how bad of an idea this lunch period is going to be. He mentally slaps himself in the head for even mentioning to her about having lunch in public.

Well, it did take some discomfort of his chest knowing that she is not ashamed for him. But to have an anxiety-ridden lunch break? This seems like the worst trade deal made in history.

He can see the tables they are heading to. There were a few players, both male and female volleyball players, and he can easily recognise most of them. Just when he thinks the knots in his stomach cannot get any tighter, they did with each step closer towards the table. 

“Hey,” Rey greets them like it was any other day. 

The others mumble back their hellos, each oblivious to the random nerdy dude tailing their teammate. It is not until Rey has them scoot all the way to make way for more than just her. Then, things get a little awkward.

Kaydel was the first to catch sight of him with an expression that belongs to a cartoon character the way her eyes widen and her mouth the shape of a perfect ‘O’. She does not give Ben a mean look, she just looks at him like it is the first time she has seen him. Like he is a transfer student that no one knows. 

Rose follows her captain’s gaze, doing a perfect double-take at this unknown person in her presence. Her eyes jump from Rey to Ben in a not so silent inquiry of “who is he and what the hell is going on?”. Ben wishes the world would swallow him. 

This is a horrible, terrible idea. 

“You guys know Ben,” Rey says. No easing in, just one hundred per cent from the start. That being said, Ben is thankful that she does not make him introduce himself, he has always been so bad at those. 

Some of the other team members toss glances but did not care much. Rose, on the other hand, is still trying to make sense of the situation. Fortunately, Kaydel does the honours of breaking the awkward silence and offers him a radiant smile that is all pleasantries and nothing more.

“Hi Ben, I’m Kaydel.” This is probably the first time she has spoken to him. They have never shared a class and their paths never crossed. She has a sweet voice and a kind face. An extreme contradiction to the crowd she walks with. 

All of a sudden, he remembers her. She was the one he had bumped into a month or two ago. He nods, returning her a polite smile the best he can. “I know.” 

“Ooh, you’re a know it all, huh?” Bazine slithers into the conversation, looking to the others at the table to back up her little jab. 

“And what about it?” Rey swoops in before anyone else. 

Bazine’s neck snaps in her teammate’s direction, betrayal in her eyes. Rey changes her for a stare-off. Ben holds his breath, counting down until all hell breaks loose.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

“I’m Bazine,” she mumbles. Ben blinks. That was easy. “Hi.”

Those are the only words she will speak to him for the rest of the lunch and Ben is okay with that. He would rather pick through his food unbothered that sludge through painful conversations that no one wanted to have. 

He just listens to them talk. While trying to avoid the fact that Rey’s thigh was so close to his they are practically touching. 

_Deep breaths, Solo._

Initially, he thought that the table would be full of gossip, rumours and other unkind things. Instead, it is mostly conversations with volleyball jargons, stress from studying and available dates they can meet up to catch a movie or a sleepover. 

Deep down, Ben feels bad for being dismissive that they are kind people with everyday problems like he did. He reckons that he only felt that way out of fear and defence. Plus, it is a lot easier to dislike someone when you paint them in a bad light. 

“Are you happy now?” Rey grumbles as he walks her to her next class. He has never done this before, but he has free period the next so why not. 

Rey feels like this Infiltrate Ben into Lunch Group operation went okay. By the end of the lunch period, Ben received a few smiles from them and some questions about his plans for the weekend. It was not bad at all, but Rey still does not feel like she has succeeded. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Ben says.

“Yes, I did.” 

“Look.” Ben catches her upper arm before she goes into her next class. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings the other day and making a big fuss about eating at the gym. I believe you when you say that you aren’t ashamed of me.” It is true, she does not mind the gym, he does not mind having Rey to himself. “I don’t know why I acted like that. I’m sorry.” 

A part of him knows why he did it. He wanted Rey to prove to him that this friendship is real and not a sinister plan to make his life miserable all along. It is his fault for having insecurities and he feels bad for not admitting it in the first place. But admitting to Rey means that he has to admit other things to himself. And he is not ready for that. Hence, the least he can do is to apologise for his actions. 

“This isn’t a sham, y’know,” Rey says. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.” 

“I’m not.” He really is not. He is scared of what she could do to him but not Rey herself.

He is scared because there is a growing space in his chest made specially for her, and it was filling up more of his heart as the weeks go by. The thought of being friends with her scares him because it means that he could lose her as a friend. 

As an introvert, Ben only has a few close friends. And to let anyone in as close as she is right now is terrifying. 

Rey’s lips part in surprise. “You’re not.”

“Nope.” 

“That’s good,” she beams. She then tiptoes to press the centre of his forehead, making him stumble back a little. “We’re trying again tomorrow.”

She sashays into her classroom, without letting him say a word. 

_Tomorrow_ , he thinks. They don’t have any class together tomorrow. 

* * *

Ben catches Rey leaning against the lockers by the student council room when he walks out at the end of the day. He sees her typing away on her phone in her varsity jacket and volleyball shorts. Her hair is still a little damp, probably after showering in the locker room after practice.

As she looks down at her phone screen, a few wavy strands of her shoulder-length brunette hair falls onto her face. 

She looks like a poster girl for the school. He catches himself starring before tearing his eyes away from her. He looks up and down the hallway, wondering if her other teammates were lingering around the area. Nope, they are nowhere in sight. His quirks up his eyebrow at this knowledge. Since when did they wait for each other after school?

“Are you lost?”

“Ben, hey!” Rey slips her phone into the mesh pocket of her gym back, push herself off the lockers and bounces over like a little puppy excited to see their owners come home. She must have noticed that she was grinning much too brightly that she dialled down on it. “How do you feel about chemistry?” 

Ben is good at all his subjects, _especially_ chemistry. But he’s not one to boast. “It’s okay. Why?” He asks and begins walking down the hall towards the exit. 

Rey catches up with his pace and strolls by his side. “Because I hate it and we have an exam coming up.” 

Ben nods, waiting for her to continue. After a few moments of silence, he looks down to see her staring at him expectantly. Ben brows furrow. What does she mean – oh. Wait a minute.

“Are you… asking for help?” 

“I mean if you insist.”

“I thought you were so hard-headed on copying my quiz answers.” 

“But you don’t let me.”

“I mean, I can’t stop you if you want to do that.” He tries to pick up the pace but her athletic body has no problem catching up with his long legs.

“We can go to your place.”

Ben stops in his tracks and chokes on his saliva. “Wait, _what?_ ”

“Great. You can help me prep for it.” She claps her hands together. “Are you ready to go now?” 

“Do I have a choice?” He groans.

She flashes him a radiant smile and tops it off with a wink. “Nope.” Then, she skips off to the parking lot to where his car is at and stands by the passenger door, patiently for him to unlock it.

* * *

Having Rey over again is awkward enough for him. Having his parents drill him with more questions about her and why he never brought his other friends over is even worse. 

He rushes Rey along up to his room before more damage can be done and is tempted to look the door. He knows how his parents are. They are the busy type who does not have a lot of time to give him, but they are overzealous when they find out their son is not the loner they failed. Better yet, it is a girl who he brings over. A really pretty one. 

He prays that his mother will not bring snacks up and his dad will not ungracefully pop in every now and then to get more information about this mysterious girl he has never seen before. He assumes that his mother will fill him in about that time she came over for dinner. 

“Your parents seem nice,” Rey comments.

“Sometimes they’re a little _too_ nice.”

“What do they do?” She asks. _Not another grilling session_ , he thinks to himself.

“My mom’s a freelance writer so she’s always around the house, while my dad is a pilot. That’s why you didn’t get to see him the last time you were over.” 

“That’s nice.” Rey meanders through his room, inspecting every little surface her eyes can fall on. 

Ben feels overwhelmingly self-conscious. He does not have anything embarrassing in his room except a pile of clean laundry he has hastily shoved into his closet before she can see his bright pink boxers. 

The rest of the room is typical, a twin-sized bed in one side of the room and a study desk with a huge monitor on the other side of the wall. 

“How much studying do you need to have such a huge monitor?” She laughs.

“Oh, I use it mostly to watch shows from my bed, my mom got it for me last Christmas.”

“Oh. She turns around to look at the band posters on the wall above his bed. “Oh, I love The Strokes! Reptilia is my favourite song.” She looks around the room. “You got speakers?”

He points to the aux cord and she goes ahead to plug it in, allowing the drums and guitar sound to echo through the room. She nods along with the rhythm and sings every word like she knows it at the back of her hands. 

She dances across to the bookshelf near the door, her fingers running across the spines of his library collection. 

“Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes,” she pulls out the book and reads the cover page aloud. “I’ve always wanted to read this, but I never got to finish reading it.” 

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I used to love reading and spent a lot of time in public libraries reading classic literature. Then volleyball got in the way and now I’m barely afloat with just schoolwork.” 

“You can borrow it if you want. I’ve got a bunch of other classic literature books here that you can borrow after you’re done.” 

“Really?” Rey looks up to him from where she is, kneeling by the bookshelf to scan his collection.

“I’ve read it three times already.” 

Laughing, she stands up and puts the book back on the shelf and stands up. “Wow, you’re a huge, freaking nerd.” 

Ben narrows his eyes, there is something very familiar about that sentence.

“So are we going to study or what?”

Ben rolls his eyes; Rey is so annoying. 

Rey slumps on the only chair in his room and Ben sighs while he heads downstairs to get another chair from the storeroom. 

He comes back up and stands at the doorway, amused to see Rey twirling around in his chair. 

“Having fun?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’ve never had one of these before.” 

He clears his throat and puts the extra chair next to her, clears his desk off to make room for their books and notepads. 

Tutoring is his thing. Rey is not the first person to ask him for help, but she is the first one that he has brought home to do so. And she is the first person to make him feel like he cannot breathe. 

She was sitting too close to him for comfort. Her elbows take up a lot of room and she has the habit of putting her face too close necessary to see what he is pointing out in the notes. It is throwing his focus off, making his skin scorch.

He reaches over to pick up a tiny remote control which turns on the wall fan. It is so warm, and he does not know if it is because his parents had forgotten to adjust the thermostat, or it is due to the breath he feels against his neck that causes his hair to stand and stomach to churn.

“Does this make sense?” Ben sits back, peeling himself away from her. No matter what he does, the heat he feels with her nearby remains. 

“Let me try,” she says and snatches the calculator from his hands to type out the math equation to find out the number of moles of sodium hydroxide required in the question. Stoichiometry was never her strongest topic. 

At first, Ben watches her complete the chemistry questions, checking her work and giving her guidance as they go along. After a few questions – Ben has no idea how many – his focus shifts and he finds himself watching her instead.

She has this certain face when she is concentrating hard. It creates a bunch of tiny wrinkles between her brows when she furrows them while thinking intently. Or the way she creates a funny-looking frown – teeth clench, lips apart, with the ends of her lips pointing down – when the numbers she puts in gives her an answer that is in neither of the multiple-choice options. 

Ben never noticed how big and round her eyes are and how soft and squishy her cheeks are. And her lips. 

His gazes flicker down finding her mouth slightly parted, tongue sticking out a little on one side. 

Her lips are so pink and soft. 

She is beautiful. She is gentle. She is warm underneath it all. She has always been. Ben finds himself yearning for the warmth he felt uncomfortable earlier on. He wants systematically to clear his throat and adjust his seat to sneakily slide it closer to her. He wants to keep her close. 

He does not want this thing – friendship? – blossoming between them to disappear. She said she wants to be friends, right? Is that all they can be?

“Is this right?”

Rey’s question snaps him out of his trance. “Uh…” He quickly diverts his eyes (which are still focused solely on her lips) to review the chemical equations she has written down on paper. “Yup, that’s right.” 

“Yes!” She shouts and releases the calculator from her grasp like a mike drop. 

“Hey, that’s my calculator!”

“Whoops, sorry!’ She squeals, her hands making little fists punches in the air. “I can’t believe I finally got it!”

“You understood most of it; I just needed to help you bridge the gaps.” 

Despite what anyone else thinks, Rey is smart. She always gets decently good marks (not as good as him) even though she did not pay much attention in class. She is a lot more involved in volleyball and talented at it. Ben knows this because he has run concession stands at games to see her play. 

Ben realises that she might not even need a tutor in the first place, she could have just figured it out herself. _Huh, weird_.

“You’re an amazing teacher.” It is a simple compliment and nothing compared to the look of gratitude and admiration she has on her face for him.

His palms start sweating again and he can feel his ears burning red hot. He is not used to this Rey. And he knows he likes her this way better, freaking him out more. 

“Are you hungry?” Ben blurts out. He needs a break, a break from the periodic elements and from suffocating under Rey’s overwhelming presence in his personal space. _She’s in your room!_

“I’m starving,” she pouts. 

Ben bites his lip. Pouty Rey is new, and it is making his heart swoon a bit. “We should eat.”

“Okay.” 

Ben quickly gets up from his seat to run away from his thoughts.

But there is nothing he can do about his racing heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 will be out, as usual, tomorrow but the subsequent chapters may be slower because I'll be busy with work! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I appreciate the support 🤍🤍


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe I was scared,” she whispers. 
> 
> “You? Scared?” He is in disbelief.
> 
> “Of how you made me feel.”
> 
> Ben stills. What does that mean? Why did she say that? Why can he feel butterflies in his stomach?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There seems to be a lot of drama in the star wars / reylo community right now regarding fanfics and their contents. 
> 
> A friendly reminder to always read the tags before proceeding, and to my fellow writers, please tag your work accordingly. And if I'm missing out any tags that should be there, please let me know. 
> 
> Also, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Bailey and Helen for buying me coffees on Ko-fi! It means so much to me and I really appreciate it. 
> 
> Happy reading! ❤️❤️

“So Rey, how do you know Ben?” Han asks. It is rare for Ben to bring anyone over. 

“Oh, we’re in the same chemistry class and we were lab partners,” she beams.

“Once,” Ben fakes a cough. “Lab partners _once_.” 

“Whatever,” she waves a hand at him and turns back to look at Han. “Ben’s so nice, he’s even tutoring me for our upcoming test.” 

_Gosh, her smile is so fake_ , he thinks to himself as he watches her get chummy with his parents again. 

“Not like I had a choice,” he mutters under his breath, just soft enough for Rey to hear.

Rey gives him a death stare and continues chatting with his parents. 

“Rey, dear, how did you like the packed lunch Ben brought for you the other day?” Leia asks.

Ben looks suspiciously at his mother from the corner of his eye. How did she know it was for Rey?

“I loved it, thank you so much! I hope it wasn’t a hassle for you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Leia says, her voice warm and welcoming.

In a way, Ben’s lucky that she’s over for dinner. It means that all his parents’ focus is on her and he does not have to be the centre of attention. With both his parents busy, he finds it difficult at times to make conversation with them and usually does so when it is necessary – like the packing of lunches. 

After dinner, Rey insists on getting ice cream for dessert. Han delightedly gives them twenty dollars and winks at Ben, resulting in him making an audible groan. After, he drives her down to the gelato store nearby to get some. 

“Let’s share a sundae! Then we can have more for the price of less,” she wiggles her brows at him. “You can choose one flavour and I’ll choose the other.”

“Fine with me,” he shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll get the butterscotch or something.”

“That’s disgusting, no way we’re getting that.” Rey scrunches up her nose at his flavour of choice. 

Ben glares back at her. _What is the point of asking him to choose then?_

“Butterscotch is not for the weak,” he states.

“You? Not weak? I can easily break you; your height has got nothing on me.” 

“I’d like to see you try,” he snorts.

Ben does not think Rey will do anything. He should have known better. She always exceeds his expectations, and this is no different. She is full of surprises. 

Arms circle around him and she squeezes him, hard. Ben thrashes in her grip, trying to get away but she holds him firmly. It looks like he is tossing her playfully from side to side in a hug. Her laughter is loud and rowdy as he hollers and wheezes in her arms. 

“Okay, okay, okay!” Ben yells. “You’ve made your point!”

Rey lets up but she does not let go of her grasp. Ben steps back to spin out of her lingering hold, running a finger through his luxuriant hair to fix it in place and catch a breath. 

She flicks her hair to move it back in place triumphantly. “We’re getting chocolate and macadamia nut.”

“Fine.” Ben does not dare to challenge her again, not after being nearly crushed to death. Or perhaps his skin is still tingling with excitement from her skin touching his and he cannot snap out of it. Her warm is still ingrained into his body and when he got out of her grasp, he feels slightly disappointed. That’s on him for being so awkward around her.

After paying at the counter, they take a seat at a window booth, patiently waiting for their sundae to deliver. 

When it comes, Rey picks up one spoon and passes it to him. It’s a simple banana split with two scoops of ice-cream in the centre, whip cream and cherries on top. He dips the spoon into the ice-cream, taking out a chunk of smooth chocolatey goodness with a slice of banana in his mouth. Rey digs in too, taking a lick of the ice-cream on her spoon.

His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat at the sight of her sensually licking it. 

_Holy shit._

He shakes his head to snap out of it. Rey chuckles at his reaction, not knowing she was the reason for his reaction. 

“Brain freeze?” She asks.

“Uh, yeah.” 

He takes another scoop of ice cream, this time trying the macadamia nut flavour. It is delicious. 

This whole thing feels strange. It feels like they are friends, or maybe they are not. No, he cannot keep denying it. They are.

If this is how Rey is, Ben does not understand. Why is she being nice to him after so many years of animosity? Why now after so many years of wishing the other would die in a fire? Why are they acting like they have each committed the most unforgivable crime against each other?

He tries his best to not look at her lips as she puts the spoon of ice-cream in her mouth. 

“God, why can’t you just eat it like a normal person,” he snaps as he gets hotter and more flustered with every mouthful she takes. “Stop licking it like a child.”

“Make me,” she smirks. 

Ugh. 

Ben thinks it is best to change the conversation topic. It will not end well if he does not. “Why were you always so mean to me?” he asks.

Rey lifts her shoulders and drops them down in a shrug. “You know how high school is,” she mumbles with her mouth full of chocolate. 

They both know how high school is like. It is not as exaggerated in movies, but the separation of power and social hierarchy is real. There is always a social understanding of who is ‘better’ and more popular than the other. It makes sense that they have been at odds, they are fundamentally different for being in different social groups. 

“But, why me?”

Rey tilts looks out of the window, eyes glistening in the light. When she speaks, her voice is crystal clear. “I was jealous.”

Did he hear it right? “Jealous?” He asks, confused. “Of _me_?”

She lets out a deep sigh and stabbed her spoon into the ice-cream. 

_Does this count as indirect kissing? Damn it, Solo, get your shit together._

“You’re really smart,” she says finally like she was spending the last few moments thinking of what to say. “You’re like stupidly smart. I’ve always tried to excel in schoolwork, but I couldn’t be as good as you and I hated that. I hated knowing the fact that I can never get an academic scholarship, so I decided to be good at volleyball. I never wanted to play. But if it meant that my foster mom doesn’t have to spend all her savings to help me get through college, I would do it.”

_Foster mom._ The words are stuck in his head on replay. _She’s a foster child._ He makes a mental note to prompt her on this later. 

It is funny because Ben felt the same way that day when he was eating with her volleyball mates in the cafeteria. He knows that he can never get an athletic scholarship and he is jealous too. He realises that they have placed each other in some perfect box where they think the other has perfect, ideal lives. 

“I know that it’s not fair to you.” She looks down at her feet shuffling on the tiled floor, head dropping in shame. “You’re effortlessly good at everything you did. It makes you kind of an outcast because everyone is so intimidated by you. So, they made fun of you to make themselves feel better and so did it. But you’re different, you didn’t care that people made fun of you. I couldn’t do that, and maybe that’s why I joined them to fit in.” 

“You’re wrong, y’know? I do care.” Ben licks his drying lips. “Especially when it comes from you.” 

“From me?”

“Yeah. Do you remember during our freshman year when we had that exchange student?” He waits for Rey to nod before continuing. “Everyone made fun of him because he wasn’t good at English. One day, some jocks were teasing him, and you stopped them. You took him away and told him that it was okay that he wasn’t good.”

Ben gives her a soft smile. He doubts that Rey even knew that anyone was around. He was on the way to the locker room when saw them. He stopped behind one of the lockers to not disrupt them and ended up overhearing the entire conversation.

He remembers Rey standing up against a group of boys who were six feet tall and definitely outmatched her. She threw words of threat and gripped the boy’s wrist, ripping him away from the crowd before more damage could be done. 

“I used to help out in the library during my free period before I joined the student council,” he goes on. “Every other day, I saw you helping him study. You even found him a translation dictionary and helped him with the translation when he couldn’t understand. It was difficult to understand him with his level of English knowledge, but you still pushed through.”

Her lashes flutter in surprise. “You saw… all of that?”

He nods. After all this time, he never forgot about that Rey. They Rey with a heart of gold beneath all the rust. 

“I was so mad,” He coughs out an empty laugh. “You were so nice to him but so cruel to me sometimes and that hurt me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ben shakes his head, slowing them down. They sit at the booth in silence, the bowl of ice-cream now empty. 

“Do you know the worst part?” Ben searches for her gaze. Her eyes are now so gentle, soft and warm. It almost makes him lose his breath and train of thought. “No matter how much you taunted me, I couldn’t bring myself to hate you. I longed to be that exchange student. I wanted you to steal me away in the library. I wanted that Rey to look at me.”

“Why?”

“Because you did once before.”

There is a reason why Ben remembers their lab project so vividly. Since they could not finish it during class, they had to meet after school to get the rest of it done. 

With no one else around, Rey became the Rey he once saw helping the exchange student. She let herself be herself. She giggles when Ben made a mistake but not tease him harshly. She made jokes and was accommodating when Ben took control of the direction of the project and trusted that everything would work out. 

He gave Rey looks like she is the coolest person on earth, and in those couple of hours spent together, he thought that things would be different after between them. But they were not. 

In recent months, he has seen a glimpse of her. He got to see the little things she did when she knew no one else is watching. He likes seeing that version of her. And he likes how things are going between them and he cannot help but be fear the day she gets bored of him. The last thing he wants is for her to break his heart. 

“Maybe I was scared,” she whispers. 

“You? Scared?” He is in disbelief.

“Of how you made me feel.”

Ben stills. What does that mean? Why did she say that? Why can he feel butterflies in his stomach? 

“How do I–”

“I think I should go home, it’s getting late,” she slides out of the booth seat and stands up before he can stumble over the words he was going to say.

They remain quiet on the drive back and he finally pulls up at her house. 

“Thanks for helping me with the test and for driving me back.”

He blushes and gets out of the booth seat. He can really get used to this Rey. “You don’t have to thank me.” 

“Whatever, silly.” She says and steps out of the car, waving behind her.

Wait.

Silly?

Ben stares at her walk across her front lawn. 

Pieces start falling into place.

Oh, no.

No.

It cannot be.

* * *

Ben did not think he will be this nervous about going to school. It feels like the first day of school after the long winter break except it is not. He had spent the entire yesterday evening pondering if the girl he used to hate is possibly the person he has been speaking to in the confession booth and may have a crush on–

He cannot even say it. It is just so ridiculous.

Ben’s first tactic is to avoid Rey. Yup. At least until he can get in the right headspace and wrap his mind around this. Except, Rey left her stuff at his house the night before and he as to be the nice person he is and return it to her. 

Walking into his chemistry class, his eyes immediately falls on Rey. She is sitting there at her desk playing with her phone like it is any other day. Hair down. A crease of concentration in her brow. Ankles crossing each other under her desk. 

A boy next to her leans over to tell her something that makes her laugh. He remembers seeing her at the lunch table the other day. What was his name again, Finn?

Ben is so caught up with her riveting voice that he trips over his feet. He catches hold of Rey’s desk to balance himself.

Laughter cuts off and her eyes zap to him. Her smile fades away and her eyes widen in concern before it whisks away by a blank question.

“You, uh,” Ben looks over to see that guy watching him. Or he is not. Probably no one is paying attention to him except Rey. But the back of his head tells him otherwise and he clams up the way he used to always do in her presence. “You forgot this.” 

She takes her things from his hands and puts it into her gym bag sitting on her desk.

Her eyes quickly shift away from him to focus on something else. Momentarily, he feels like she is embarrassed by him again. “Right, thanks.”

Thanks? That is it? That is weird. She let him off too easily. This is so not Rey. 

“You’re welcome.” 

Walking to his usual place at the back, he sets his bag down on the floor beside his desk. He likes sitting at the back of the classroom because he does not have difficulty focusing in class, plus it helps to keep attention away from him. Plus, he is much too tall to be sitting in the front few rows. 

Rey glances over her shoulder and their eyes immediately lock. This time, it is Rey who breaks their gaze though. Her neck snaps around like she is ashamed of getting caught. 

Scratching the back of his head, Ben wonders where the confident, outspoken and unshaken Rey went. Instead, she is acting like a shy little schoolgirl. Oh, wait. She _is_ a shy little schoolgirl with a crush.

Ben feels the heat in his face causing the colour of his pale ears to fill up. He cannot believe this is real. He pinches the skin on his forearm hard just to make sure.

_Ouch_ , he winces. Yup, this is real. 

But he still refuses to believe this is the girl from the booth. No freaking way.

But he will find out soon enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the story unfolds and falls into place, the subsequent chapters may take a little longer for an update, so please bear with me!
> 
> Thank you for reading~ I welcome any constructive criticism, it'll help me write better! 😊


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe it’s not you,” he says. Because it is not. “Maybe he still needs some time.”
> 
> “Do you think so?” Her voice is full of hope.
> 
> He feels a weight in his gut. “You’ve done all you can. It’s his turn.”
> 
> “I guess you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I managed to finish chapter 7 but subsequent chapters will come by a little later this week because I am swamped with work. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

It is that time of the day. The time where Ben perks up in anticipation of the latest update from the mystery girl who has been visiting the booth regularly. 

Today, however, his stomach is churning, riddled with anxiety.

He hears the fabric movements of the curtain and some footsteps which indicate that there is a visitor. Ben holds his breath and waits patiently as the chair scratches the floor when the visitor sits down. 

He takes in a deep breath. “Welcome to the–”

“I messed up.”

Ben suddenly snaps to attention. He was all ears and he can feel tingles all over his body.

“Hello?” She says in silence. “Are you still there?”

Ben cannot breathe.

“Seriously? I’m paying for this service and I only have ten minutes. You better not be charging me for the silence!”

That voice. That sass. That quip. How did he not recognise her sooner? There is no mistaking. There is no questioning. This is Rey and has her all along.

“Sorry, I’m here.” Ben clears his throat and shifts in his seat. Despite what he knows, he has to do his job. “How did you mess up?”

“I sort of, kind of, almost confessed.”

_So that’s what that was_ , Ben finally gets what she meant when she said she was afraid of how he made her feel. There is no denial.

Warmth spreads throughout his body. To be honest, he is still in disbelieve that this very girl has a crush on him. To think that he has been in her thoughts for God knows how long. He has always been floating across her mind, just like how she has been somewhat of an unremovable thorn stuck under his skin. But the thorn has now blossomed into a flower with roots wrapped around his heart.

“Oh, no,” he forces a croak out.

“I couldn’t help it!” Rey groans. Finally, Ben can see how this entire situation has been affecting her. “We were having a great time together, then he asked about before and…” She tapers off. She does not need to explain, he was there. “I feel so stupid.”

“Why?” He prompts.

“He wanted to be friends this entire time! And I… I ruined it.” The heaves a sigh so heavy of guilt. “No wonder it feels like I have been against some immovable force. We’re not on the same page. He doesn’t even feel the same way about me!”

Ben’s heart is stuck in his throat. Technically, she’s not wrong. He has been trying very hard to control his developing feelings for her and nonchalant to her advances. He has his walls up and heart safeguard from her. In the months they have spent together, the bricks are chipping away as Rey finds her way to slither in. 

“Now that you’ve hinted to him, are you going to one hundred per cent confess?” He asks. His mouth is dry, and his lips are chapped, and he is pretty sure he will spontaneously combust if she said that–

“I don’t know if I can.”

– Wait no, not that!

“What if he says no?” She continues. “What if he thinks I’m pulling a prank on him?”

Ben wonders himself. Will he say no? If not for her confessions, Ben will probably think that she is playing some sick trick on him. Now that he knows, it is a different story. She is not trying to make use of him or make fun of him. She genuinely, wholeheartedly wanted him. 

Ben attempts to regulate his breathing. The booth is burning up and he is on fire. At this rate, he is going to get a cardiac arrest.

Rey wants him.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 

He needs to control himself.

“Weren’t you two getting closer?”

“We were. We are, I think,” she hums in thought. Ben wants to tell her yes. Yes, they were getting closer. Closer than she thinks. “I don’t want to freak out and mess things up. I’ve only gotten him to trust me. What if I tell him and he freaks out?”

Ben swallows _hard_. Too late for that. He is already freaking out behind the 4 walls of the booth. He does not know how he will react if she tells him in his face. Maybe it will be better if the ground can swallow him then and there. He wants the earth to swallow him, never to be seen again.

“What if he doesn’t?” He whispers.

Rey snorts. “That’s the ideal situation, but let’s be serious. Half the time I don’t even know what’s going through his head, he’s so hard to read!”

_The ideal situation_. If Ben is not sitting down, he is sure that his knees would give out. Rey has been thinking and daydreaming about him. It is so incredibly cheesy, but he cannot deny how the words made his chest flutter. He is all that she thinks about.

“I don’t know what else to do,” she continues. “I’ve tried everything. I apologised, I was myself, and I got to know him. I even told him things about me. I told him about my parents. No one else knows that about me, not even my teammates.”

Ben’s already pale face drains of colour. If he was not sure if this is Rey before, he is now. 

“Please refrain yourself from giving out personal information in the booth.”

“Sorry,” she huffs. “It’s just that I really like him. It’s been so hard not to yell at him to stop being so oblivious. But you should’ve seen his face when I sort of hinted to him how I felt. It was like the life drained from his face. That scared the crap out of me.” 

Ben bites his lips in guilt. His mind is racing as fast as his pulse. 

There are hundreds of guys in the school. So many attractive, nice, smart guys. Guys who are anyone other than him. Ben can easily think of a couple of names who he thinks will catch her eye. Guys who are better matches for someone like Rey. 

Not some nerd like him. Not Benjamin Solo. 

_There is no way she has a crush on me_ , he shakes his head, trying to snap back into reality. Wait, this is the reality. 

He thinks carefully about all their encounters in the booth and in real life, and it all lines up. 

“Maybe it’s not you,” he says. Because it is not. “Maybe he still needs some time.”

“Do you think so?” Her voice is full of hope.

He feels a weight in his gut. “You’ve done all you can. It’s his turn.”

“I guess you’re right.”

He knows he is. Rey has done so much. She has left a trail of breadcrumbs behind and he was too blind to see. Everything was planned out so perfectly and Rey willingly exposed herself so openly for him to see. He cannot believe he did not see it sooner. 

He can see it now. She has a big heart and is waiting for him with open arms. 

“We’re out of time,” Ben states.

“Already?”

No, but he does not think he can stand this conversation any longer. “Unfortunately.”

“Okay,” she mumbles with a sad sigh.

Now, _he_ feels bad.

But now that everything is crystal clear, what is he going to do?

* * *

The excuse of having additional student council activities to attend to saves Ben from any more lunchtime shenanigans. Not that it looks like Rey is going to ask him anyway. Since the start of the week, Rey has avoided contact with him, keeping it to the minimum and only when she has to.

So Ben goes to the library instead. He needs to think. He needs to spend some time in his comfort place to examine everything. 

He finds a corner table out of the line of prying eyes, sits down and replays every conversation he has with Rey in the booth. He runs it against every interaction they have had in person.

He feels lightheaded, maybe a little woozy. 

There is no need for him to be afraid, she wants to be with him and has been trying to be for the past few months. 

And if Rey is willing to be herself and set free from her past self, then Ben will take her in with open arms and perhaps let her claim his heart. 

“Ben?”

His neck snaps around and relaxes when he sees that it is only Mikita, another of his council mate. He walks over to Ben’s table and gives him a worried smile. “Everything okay?”

“Great! Just the usual, studying.” 

Mikita’s eyebrows lift, eyes glancing down at the empty table, no books or notes in sight. “Well, okay. Don’t forget to make the noticeboard rounds this week.”

“Don’t worry, I got it.” Ben offers him a thumbs up. 

Nodding, Mikita turns to go. 

“Wait.” He stops in his tracks. “Do you think we could swap secret keep booth times for the time being? I want to use that time to study for my upcoming tests.”

It seems like the right thing to do. He knows more than he should, and it feels wrong. It makes him feel like he is puppeteering his own love story. And what if Rey found out that it was him all along? Would she be mad? Would she be embarrassed? Would she hate him all over again?

It does not matter. Because at some point, he has to tell her. Until then, he will remove himself from the booth and let things run its natural course.

“Sure.”

A wave of relief swept over him. “Thank you.”

* * *

Rey is off. 

A couple of weeks ago, Ben would not have noticed. At least not as intensely as he does now. He is hyper-aware of everything about or related to her. 

He knows he was the one who told her that she should giver her crush some space, but he did not mean that he did not want her to talk to him! Still, he has to commend her for listening to everything he said in the booth and applied it, albeit not always executing them in the best of ways. He will give her an A for effort. 

Rey ignoring him on purpose just shows him that she is certain about him and everything she feels for him is real. The thought that she has feelings for him still makes him giddy, and it distracts his mind a little in class. So much for wanting to focus! 

He has been too focused on her during the last two chemistry classes. She has not looked at him in his direction even once at all since their encounter at the booth. To his surprise, he thinks that he is the one who is going to explode. He has no idea how excruciating it has been to go by without her loud-ass voice demanding his attention, or her shy smiles when she thinks no one is looking, or her homemade lunches she claimed she made too much of but in reality, Ben knows she made just enough for both of them to share. 

_Wow. What is wrong with me? Was this how Rey felt the entire time?_ Ben feels this yearning, needy pull for her presence. The annoying feeling of the other person not noticing him. The frustration of not knowing if every little thing he did would send him ten steps back or launch him two steps forward. 

He is starting to understand why she said that it was he who scares her. He is too busy worried about getting his heart toyed that he did not stop to consider that he may be playing with hers. 

Eyes staring at the wall clock, Ben watches the minute hand shift closer to the top of the hour. It will be lunchtime soon. Maybe today will be the day they will go back to their routine. 

The bell rings and Ben hurriedly snaps a picture of the whiteboard to write the notes down later. People got up, grabbing their things and linking up with friends. Ben holds his breath, waiting for Rey to turn around and beckon him over to tell him that it was time to eat. To tell him to “hurry it up we don’t have all day!”

But today, she did not. Again. 

“Rey.” Her name was out of his mouth before he knows it. 

Rey freezes, her back going stiff. Turning, she finds Ben with curious, expectant eyes. There is a hint of shock in her facial expression that she quickly erases into false indifference. Incredible. No wonder Ben did not catch her sooner. She has been acting cool and confident all long. She should join the theatre club. 

“What?” She lifts an eyebrow.

Been panics. What is he going to say? He has not thought that far. Hell, he did not even think through this at all! He needs to say something, fast.

_C’mon, c’mon, think fast!_

“No lunch demands today?” he quips lightly. 

The corner of her mouth tugs up into a smirk. Arms akimbo, she tilts her head to the side her signature charmingly haughty way. “Wow, did I condition you that quickly?”

There it is. The snarky Rey he knows. His Rey.

Goosebumps spread across his skin. 

“I still have my free will.” 

Her eyes narrows, smirk pulling more into a smile now. “Well, what does Mister Free Will want to do?”

Oh. Now she is giving him a choice. She is putting the ball in his court and letting him take the lead. “Gym?”

“Fine.”

Rey does not turn around fast enough for Ben to miss the smile that bursts across her face. 

* * *

Lunch is different this time around Something has shifted for sure. And Ben cannot stop staring at her.

It is like the curtains had been thrown open and all the light has come in. It is no longer a blurry haze. He can finally see Rey clearly and is enamoured by what he sees. Part of him has always seen it, always peeing between the blinds, stealing short glimpses. Now, with nothing blocking his sight, she is right in front of him, no distractions, nothing. 

His stomach is all over the place and his eyes keep darting to her mouth where she chews and all he can think of is…

What will it be like to kiss her?

“Are you… good?” Her brows furrow into concern as she chews slowly, examining the boy in front of her carefully. 

He quickly blinks away, turning his focus to the food they are eating. “I’m perfect.”

“Why are you being so weird?”

Ben snorts. “Why are _you_ being so weird?”

“I’m literally just sitting here eating my lunch.”

“Exactly.”

“What?”

He flushes. Seriously, what is wrong with him. “Um, nothing.”

Rey’s face is all sorts of confused. Ben feels like a complete moron. He is so much better than this. He is the top few students in the entire school, for goodness sake. Throw a crush – a beautiful, talented, kind, sassy, brutally honest crush – at him and he might as well be at the bottom of the list. But maybe he does not mind the way she makes him feel.

“You promise you’re okay?”

He sits up straight to compose himself. “I promise.” 

How does Rey do it? How does she remain so calm, confident and beautiful all the time without letting her feelings get in the way when she is in the face of her crush? He recalls that she once told him acting was not her thing, but now, he would beg to differ. 

He feels like that day when they went out for ice cream and her arms were around him as they were being silly. Nervous, warm and excited. But take that up a notch. 

“Whatever.” She picks up her canned drink and passes it to him to help her open the tab. Once he is done, he returns it to her. “Thanks. Anyway, if you’re not busy after school, could you help me with something?”

This time he really notices. She is giving him a choice. No demands, just a question. “Depends on what it is.” 

“Nothing you can’t handle,” she shrugs.

Ben narrows his eyes. “Is this another ploy to get into my house?”

She chuckles at his response. “No, silly, I seriously need help with something. Plus, if you had a problem with me coming over, you should’ve told me and not let me over.”

“If I had a problem with it, I wouldn’t have let you.” 

She side-eyes him. He is being _really_ strange today. “Good to know. I guess. It’s hard to tell with you sometimes. One moment you’re hot, and the next you’re cold.”

Ben admits that is a fair statement. Ben from a few months ago would be defensive but the Ben now decides to back down.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you before,” he says. “I didn’t think I could, and even if I could, I didn’t know how to.” He pauses to laugh at himself. The entire time, he had portrayed her as a superficial, angry person. But with her heart now on her sleeve, he knows the real her and he likes it. “That night you came over, after everything you said, I know that I can trust you now.” 

Her face lights up and he wishes he knows what she is thinking. They both had shared a lot of emotional content during their dessert date, with so many raw feelings revealed. Ben cannot believe how much she affects him. She makes him blurt out things he will normally keep inside his head and makes him feel things he never thought he can. 

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Ben asks, perplexed.

“I’m sorry I was mean to you,” her voice so soft it is almost a whisper. Each word she says weighs with honesty. “Back then, I didn’t notice that you wanted to be…” she trails off and pauses, struggling to find the right words to express herself. Her frustrations get the best of her and she sighs. “I’m really sorry, okay?”

_Ba-dum. Ba-dum._

Oh no, there goes his heart beating loudly and uncontrollably. 

_Okay, focus. Now’s the time to show Rey that all her efforts haven’t gone to waste_ , he reminds himself. That was his goal for the lunch. To let her know that he cares about her.

“I forgive you.”

Her eyes widen. “You… do?” 

He nods. “You don’t have to be scared of me.” Her lips part in surprise and her eyes drop to the hand that extends out to her. “Friends?”

_I don’t wanna be your friend, I just wanna hold your hand. But let’s try this first. To be friends._

She slips her hand into his and he flutters at her touch. The handshake lingers on longer than necessary. 

”Ugh, gross.” Rey snatches her hand back. “Can we go back to when you yelled at me?”

“I never yelled at you.”

“That’s a lie.” 

“No, it’s not!”

Rey points her finger and pokes his sternum. “Then what was that?”

He shoves her hand away playfully and rolls his eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 💐
> 
> Comment below what you think Rey needs his help with 👀


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re a lot different than you show at school.”
> 
> Rey scrunches up her nose. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”
> 
> “Both. I like the Rey I know at school and this one too – a good thing.”
> 
> She covers the food to keep warm. “And the bad thing?”
> 
> “I like that only I get to see it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes out to Emma for buying me a coffee! Thank you, so much for your support 🥺🤍
> 
> Also, Mikita is so underrated, this one’s for him!

Ben finds out that help is being an extra set of hands on a grocery store run, where he ends up carrying most of the groceries. He cannot believe he got tricked when she just needed his car. Or maybe wanted to have a grocery date with him too, who knows.

It is the first time he has been inside of Rey’s home. It is a lot smaller than it looks from the outside, with only two bedrooms in sight. The kitchen, dining area and living room are combined. He manages to steal a glance of the inside of the two bedrooms, each with a single bed inside. Knowing that she keeps her home life away from her friends, he is appreciative of this opportunity to be trusted enough to enter her world. 

“You can put them on the dining table,” she points as she leads him into the house. Ben focuses on unloading the bags from his car to the dining table while she quickly unpacks everything and put them in the cupboard and refrigerator. That is enough food to last more than a week. 

When he is done, he stands by the wall near the main door, idling there awkwardly as she works to pack everything away. She digs into the cupboard under the counter to pull out what looks like a pot and a pan. Placing them onto the stove and turning around, she seems to have forgotten he was there until now. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“I–”

“It’s the least I could do after getting your help with all the groceries. Glad I don’t have to make another trip until a week or two later.”

He holds his tongue. It is an odd reflex considering how much he wanted to avoid her in the past. But things are different now and she is different and everything between them is different. “I would love to.”

Rey’s face lights up but her smile quickly turns into a smirk. “Good. Then you can help.” 

She lifts her arms to scope the top half of her loose wavy brown hair into a bun, the bottom half of her hair left down. As she stretches up to knot the hair tie around the bun, her shirt lifts a little and he sees her midriff. _Oh boy. Stop staring, Solo!_

“Do you know how to chop vegetables?”

Not well but he can try his best. He did take a horticulture class for a year in middle school to learn the basics of gardening and cooking. Other than that, he has not touched the stove, not even once. It is not his fault that his favourite food is cereal, food preps are never required. 

She watches him from the side as he attempts to peel and chop the carrots and radish. His best efforts gained him a lot of laughter and a few scoldings from her before he gets shooed away. 

“I guess being all-rounded is a myth,” she chuckles at his botched job. “Here lemme show you.”

He hovers close by and watches her make perfectly thin cuts. “Sorry,” he mutters under his breath, close to her ear. She shivers at his warm breath and how close he is to her but she keeps her cool.

He takes over with the chopping while she guides him through. Once he is done with them, she tosses them into the pot with something brewing inside. She adds in some chopped scallions, enoki mushrooms, tofu and a sachet of _something_ into the pot over the next few minutes. She lets it simmer for a little more before taking a sip.

“Grab that for me,” she says to Ben, pointing over to a bag of dried seaweed on the other side of the kitchen. 

Rey takes a tablespoon of it and pours it into the soup, stirring it after. Ben continues to stand by her side, watching the seaweed expand. 

“Help me stir this while I make some rice and grill the salmon.” 

She turns around to prepare the rice. Once she is done, she decides to take a look at how Ben is doing before she grills the fish.

She watches him stir the contents in the pot haphazardly. “Seriously?” She deadpans.

“What? I’m stirring!”

“Gosh, not like that.” She rolls her eyes. To his surprise, she folds her hands around his and guides the ladle with force. “You do it like this. You want to make sure that everything gets mixed up and the miso powder goes all the way to the bottom.

_So that’s what we’re making_ , he thinks to himself. 

Ben waits for her to let go of his hand, but she does not. Her hand stays wrapped around his, absentmindedly holding on to his while he stirs. He knows she is not directing him; he is the one putting full force on the stirring. He feels her forearm pressing against his.

“Am I doing better, chef?”

“Yeah.” Rey’s voice is like honey in his ear. “Better.”

She is so close. If it was not for the boiling, he is sure that she will hear his heart pounding.

“I think it’s done,” she says. She lets go of her grasp and turns the fire off. Ben As the knob is a litter further from the side she was at, she presses her body against his from behind to reach it, locking him against the stove. He feels her cheek on the side of his shoulder. 

At the touch of their closeness, Ben draws in a quick breath. This is the closest he has been to any girl (that is not his mom) and he is about to combust. Rey then jerks away from him all at once, and now the parts of his skin that once felt her warmth feels cold and empty. 

Their eyes meet briefly as she turns the stove fire off. “Can you move? I need to test it.”

_Right_. 

Ben shakily passes her the ladle, making sure their fingers do not touch and steps aside. He has no idea how to react around her now.

The taste test passes, and she gives a pleasing nod. “You didn’t ruin it. I’m glad.”

He puts one hand on her shoulder and another to his chest, giving her a dramatic sigh of relief. “Thank goodness it’s not ruined.”

“Thank goodness,” she repeats with a giggle. “You’re funny.”

The front door then swings open, bringing in her foster mother, Maz. She seems old enough to be her grandmother. She greets Rey with a smile and looks over curiously to the stranger in her home. 

“This is Ben,” Rey introduces. 

“Ah, the handsome, charming one.”

Rey’s face immediately turns as red as Ben’s ears. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” he waves. “We’re making dinner.”

“You two go ahead,” Maz says and heads to the bedroom on the left, closing the door. It is just the two of them again. 

“I’ll prepare the fish now, could you help me wash the chopping board and stuff?” He nods and picks up the used kitchen utensils and puts them in the sink. This, he knows how to do.

They quietly do their things, Ben taking this time to calm himself down. 

Did Rey talk about him to his grandmother?

Once they are done, dinner is served. 

Rey knocks lightly on Maz’s door and opens. He can hear her speaking softly to her in Maz’s bedroom, door ajar. He gets a glimpse of her tender-heartedness. They are having a quick conversation about each other’s day. He hears her voice, full of affection and concern, something that he (and probably everyone else in school) is not used to. It softens every muscle and bone in him. 

“We can eat first,” she tells him as she closes the bedroom door.

Setting the food on the four-seater table, he sits by her side. He chooses that position because if he sits opposite her, he probably will not be able to take his eyes away from her lips. The last few meal dates tell him so. 

From all the shared lunches they have had, there is no reason for Ben to be taken aback by how simple yet impressive the meal is. He savours every bite.

“To be honest, I was a little worried about how the cooking would turn out,” she says before taking another bite. “You’re really terrible at cooking.”

“Maybe you can be my tutor this time,” Ben blurts out without thinking. He never considered himself to be good at flirting, but he is impressed with this one. 

A huge grin snags up across her lips. “Only if you want to.”

“I’d like that,” he says and offers her a smile back. 

For the second time, they are quiet around each other, truly enjoying the peacefulness as they relish every bite. The flavourful grilled salmon goes amazing with the light and slightly salty miso soup. 

The shift from lunch becomes more noticeable now. Where has their arguments and bickers gone? What about the tense moments of uncertainty and scrutiny? Ben cannot help but let his imagination run wild as they sit comfortably together. Is this how they can always be? Will being with her always feel this warm? Is this what love and affection feel like?

“Are you done?” Rey asks.

Ben knows after a look at his empty plate. He is stuffed full. “Should we prepare a plate for your grandmother later?” 

She blinks with surprise, that he has suggested such a thing. _How thoughtful_ , she thinks. “Yeah, we can. Could you help me put the dishes in the sink while I do that?”

“Sure, I’ll wash. At least there’s something I’m good at,” he chuckles. 

Getting up, Ben clears the empty plates and bowls on the dining table and takes them to the sink to wash. 

“What does your foster mom do?” He asks, his back facing her as he soaps the dirty dishes and cutlery with detergent. 

“She helps out at a small boutique downtown. A mix of tending the cashier, ironing and packing the items. Sometimes I come by to help her. Not recently though, I’ve been really busy with volleyball training now that seasons are coming up.”

“You’re a lot different than you show at school.”

Rey scrunches up her nose. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“Both. I like the Rey I know at school and this one too – a good thing.”

She covers the food to keep warm. “And the bad thing?”

“I like that only I get to see it.”

Rey snickers but it does nothing to cover her flush. Shyly, she looks down at her feet. “How is that bad?”

“It seems selfish.”

“So?” She turns and walks towards him. With his back facing the sink, he finds himself trapped again, stuck between that and the sink. He bites his lips and looks down at her, eyes lingering on her mouth. “Maybe I like it that you’re selfish.”

Ben swallows a huge gulp. His heart is hammering in his chest again and his stomach is churning. Everything inside of him is pushing him towards telling her the whole truth – to let her know that he knows. 

“Rey…”

“Yeah?”

He licks his lips and wets the inner corners of his mouth. The words are right there on the tip of his tongue. 

He takes a deep breath.

He cannot do it. He does not dare to tell her.

“Thanks for letting me stay for dinner,” he manages to squeak out. 

“Oh, it’s whatever,” she shrugs.

And just like that, the moment is gone. She steps away from him, leaving a few inches of space between them.

_Wait, no! Come back!_ His mind groans.

“Do you want to get ice cream before you go home?” she asks.

Ben nods. “Same place?”

“Yup,” she beams.

* * *

Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

“Welcome to the confession booth.” 

Ben closes his eyes in shame. He cannot believe it has come to this.

“I… have a dilemma,” he stammers.

“Ben?”

“You’re supposed to pretend that you don’t know me.”

“But your voice.”

“Mikita, please. The rules.”

“Okay,” he clears his throat. “What seems to be troubling you today?”

Ben opens his mouth to realise that nothing comes out. It feels completely different being on the other side of the booth. He never realises how self-conscious and nerve-wracking it feels despite it being anonymous. Well, it is not anonymous anymore since Mikita recognises his voice. 

“Why didn’t I manage to notice her voice?” He mutters under his breath, too soft for Mikita to hear.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

“I…” he trails off and remains silent. There is something vulnerable about speaking words you have never told anyone else. Ben has a lot of that. 

This feeling is so new and fresh to him that it simultaneously scares and excites him. 

He knows he can always talk to his mother about it, but he refuses to admit she is right when she said there was “something suspicious going on between them”, something he overheard her telling his dad.

“It’s okay, take your time.” 

He groans. Maybe this is a bad idea. No, it is not. This is the best way to help him hash out this mess in his head. He needs an objective opinion to make sense of the maelstrom in his head. 

“So… I… have a crush.” He manages to force the words out of his mouth but stops there. He holds his breath second.

“Alright.”

He does not know what to expect at all. Maybe laughter? Judgement? The floor to open and suck him down in it?

None of that is going to happen though, because as Mikita has said it. It is okay to have a crush. It had seemed like such a massive deal in his head but saying it out loud and clear brought it into perspective. 

He has a crush. On Rey. This acknowledgement and acceptance feel like a volcano has erupted in his heart and magma is coursing through his veins. He feels like he is burning inside and out, and he can barely take it anymore.

“She likes me too,” he goes on. What a weird thing to say, it is almost unbelievable. But gosh, did that make him feel good. 

“So what’s the problem?” Mikita makes it sound so easy. It makes the next step looks so obvious. 

“I’m not supposed to know that she does and I od and I feel guilty about it.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“I wasn’t supposed to know before they were ready to tell me, but somehow I did. And I feel like I cheated in my own little love story.”

It sounds silly now that he says his woes out loud, on display for Mikita to analyse. It sounds like the opposite of a problem.

If only he had paid more attention to the glaringly obvious clues. But if Ben did not have the privilege of being on the other side of the booth, he probably would have figured it out sooner or later. It would probably take him a long time to believe Rey but that is not the point.

“Did you intentionally find out?”

“Nope, I found out by accident. And I feel bad about it.”

“You shouldn’t, because you haven’t done anything wrong.”

Hmm. 

Mikita is right. Plus, as soon as he found out, Ben separated himself from the booth day and timing that she often drops by. (He is surprised that for some reason, she is coincidentally his favourite anonymous sharer that he keeps track of the timings she drops by.

“I don’t want to lie to her.”

“So tell them.” Mikita, as objective as ever.

_That is easier said than done!_ “But how?”

“You… just tell them.” 

That is easier said than done. He is not the one stuck in this sticky situation. He is not the one who has a years-long crush buried beneath years of animosity suddenly ripping away like a second skin. It is like opening his eyes to the overwhelming afternoon sun after experiencing pitch-black darkness. 

“I don’t know about that…” he mutters. 

“If they like you back, shouldn’t they be understanding.”

“She’s like a box of chocolate. Sometimes I still don’t know what’s going through her head. I’ll never know how she’ll react to it.”

Mikita gives him a long, thoughtful hum. “But you’ve gotta give it a shot. Do you think her reaction will be worse than your guilt for never telling her the truth?”

Probably not. Ben doubts he can keep this ‘secret’ to himself forever. He needs Rey to know that he was on the other side of the booth all along.

How will he even phrase it?

_I know you like me and I like you too._

_You’ve confessed to me already so I guess I should do it back._

_Anyway, here’s a really funny story. So, do you remember one time in the booth…_

Nope. Definitely not. That is a horrific idea. 

“I guess I’m just afraid,” he shrugs. This booth does magic in acknowledging things you never managed to actualise outside of here.

“Of what?”

“Of her possibly hating me.”

Funny how the tables turn. Never once in his life did Ben think that he will reach this point – where he cares so much whether Rey hates him or not. But now, he wants what she wants. To be together. 

“It would be a waste,” he continues. “It took us months to get to this point. I don’t want to risk ruining all our progress.”

Thinking about it, this is not just a couple months’ journey, it is a couple of years. 

“You can’t ruin what hasn’t even happened yet.”

Right.

“Oh yeah. I never thought of that.”

“I know.”

The timer on Mikita’s side goes off.

“Thanks for listening.” Ben shuffles to his feet, getting ready to pull the curtains aside.

“You underestimate how much she wants and trusts you.”

Ben freezes. “What?”

“Thank you for dropping by,” Mikita says firmly. “And I wish you all the best.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for the last chapter and an epilogue?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When everything finally falls into place.
> 
> So the thing is I know nothing about volleyball and I was supposed to research it but I ended up spending 30 mins or so watching funny volleyball videos. And I still don't know anything about the rules of volleyball🤷🏻♀️ Let's hope I got ~some~ of the details right.

Today is the day. 

Ben is going to tell her everything and he has a plan.

He cannot tell her during lesson time, he does not want lesson time to be weird. He is not going to tell her during lunch either, he does not want to sit through the rest of the lunch period in awkward silence (provided she even decides to stay for the rest of the lunch after finding the huge secret he has hidden from her).

He decides that it has to be at the end of the day. Maybe he will find her by her lockers somewhere in the school and he will casually approach her, asking her if she wants a ride back. He has driven her back enough times for it to seem normal. And nothing wrong with him being nice, niceness is now part of their new friendship dynamics. 

Maybe on the drive back, when he can talk to her freely, in a private space without looking at her, he will tell her. He will let the words flow out of his mouth carelessly, his monologue just long enough for the entire drive back. He will drop her off and give her enough time to calm down. 

It has to be a Friday, he wants to give her ample time to think about it, basically the entire weekend. 

Today is Friday and the entire day in school feels like a dream. He has been prepping all week on what he is going to say and has been practising his speech in his head more times than he can count. He has it memorised like the perfectly executed monologue performance ready to wow the crowd.

It will be show-stopping, Academy Award-winning. Heck, it is Emmy Award-worthy too. 

After the last class, he fumbles with his books, stuffing them carelessly into his backpack. He heads out to the hallway and he is lucky to see her standing by her locker, shoving some of her books in it.

“Hey! Rey!” She spins around, eyes darting around the sea of faces until she finds Ben. 

“Hey, sorry,” Rey winces. “I’m in a rush right now. Coach scheduled an extra practice today. Gotta run! Text me later!”

He waves and she darts off. The crowd swallows him quicker than he can take another breath. Disappointment seeps out like a deflated balloon. So much for his plan, but a part of him does not feel too sad about it. The way his mouth has gone dry and his heart stuck in his throat are enough to make him feel nauseous. It would have turned his confession into a blubbering mess. 

He sighs. Regardless, he has to get over and done with it. He heads over to the council room to get some homework done and hopes to stay there until her practice is over. He decides it is best to make an excuse that he has a last-minute council meeting instead of telling her that he has been waiting for her. Yup, that is better. 

Though, he does think it is a sweet gesture that he waits for her after school – he has seen other high school couples do that too.

_You’re not a couple, dummy_ , a voice inside his head reminds him.

* * *

He packs his bag and steps out of the council room. She should have ended her practice around now. 

He stutters in his step, coming face to face with Rey standing across the hall by the lockers.

“Rey?” He blinks. The perfect monologue in his head becomes a jumbled mess of words. 

“Why do you look so surprised to see me?”

She must have rushed over after practice to catch him. Half of her hair is up in a top knot while the rest is let down. Some loose strands fall onto her face. She is wearing her volleyball sweatshirt and her kneepads are pushed down to her ankles. Not even sweat had time to cool on her beautifully freckled face. The thought of her rushing to see him turns his insides into pudding. 

“Did you run here?”

“What? No!” She waves the thought away with her hand. She puts on a face as she works to steady her breathing. “I kinda blew you off after class so I wanted to make sure I catch you before you go back. If you were still in school. I didn’t know if you would still be in school, but I saw your car in the parking lot, and I thought this is where you might be.” She inhales deeply, after saying all of _that_ in one breath.

“Oh.” His limbs feel like jelly. If he wants to run away to avoid this conversation, he cannot now. “It…it isn’t anything important.”

“It isn’t?”

“Nope.”

Her eyes narrow, trying to determine the genuineness of his one-word reply. “Are you lying?”

Damn it, she is getting so good at reading him. 

“No?”

“Sure, you’re not.” She rolls her eyes. “Are you done?”

“I guess,” he mutters.

“Great! Let’s go.” Rey walks off first.

Ben instinctively follows her. “Go?”

“Home? Or I can leave you here.” 

He grits his teeth. Despite all the flutters she made him feel, there will always be that little bit of endearing annoyance. “I’m walking already, aren’t I?”

It feels strange. They do not normally do this when it is not raining. Maybe he is grateful for that. The shining sun keeps him from being too close to her which easily messes up his thoughts. He takes advantage of the long walk to the car to regain back all his brain cells. He takes this time to also regain his confidence so that he can recite his impressive monologue later in the car. Just what he wanted, right?

“Why do you look so constipated?” She asks as he drives out of the school compound.

He rolls his eyes and looks straight ahead. “I do not.”

“You kind of do.” She squeezes his shoulder as moral support of what he might want to say next.

_Now’s the perfect time_. 

“So…” they both say at the same time.

“You go,” Rey says.

“No, you.”

“You!” 

“It’s nothing! Just say it!’ Ben exclaims.

“Cut it out! Why are you being like this?” She grumbles but does not press further. “What I wanted to say is, we’re having our big game this weekend. You’re coming.”

He side-eyes her. “Please goes a long way.”

“Please? Will you come or not? I have a free ticket and I want you to have it.”

“I guess if I don’t have anything better to do.”

“You don’t.”

“How would you know?” 

Rey deadpans. “Yup, you definitely don’t. Anyway…” she trails off. There is a change in her expression, and she shifts her torso to face him. She glances down at the gear stick, avoiding his gaze. “There’s a party afterwards to celebrate our win–”

“That’s rather presumptuous.”

“–and I needed a date.” She rolls her eyes exaggeratingly. “I guess you’ll do.”

_Date. Oh no, oh no._

“Are you asking me out, Rey?”

Ben has witnessed a couple of new things with Rey over the last few days. Like her blushing, and being surprised, and having her gooeyness oozing all over him. And after seeing all of that, this one is the newest yet.

She quickly recovers, forcing a furrowed brow and putting on a strong front. “Don’t you be difficult! I need you there,” she hisses. 

Ben’s stomach turns into knots. He no longer has it in him to be snarky or give a sarcastic comment back. All he has is the truth. “I’ll go with you.” 

“That’s what I thought,” she says brazenly, flicking the loose strands of hair off her face. This is the Rey he knows. “Bye then,” she says as Ben stops the car. 

He watches her bounces off to her front door.

Yup. So much for his perfect plan. 

* * *

It is just a game, but Ben is stressed out about what he to wear. He has to put in extra effort in his clothes especially if he is going to be Rey’s date for the afterparty. The last thing he wants is to embarrass her. 

He groans. Why did he say yes? How is he supposed to hold it together for the entire night? 

Maybe it will not be so bad. Since she wants him there, he will be okay. He will be safe with her by his side and there is nothing to worry about. 

He opts for a black and white flannel and jeans and heads to school.

The gymnasium is packed with patrons sporting in his school or the opposite school’s colours. He has never watched a game before. Normally he would be sitting outside the entrance on concession stand duty or running the scoreboard. He does not know what to do with himself or if he should look for Rey or go up to the ticket booth and give him his name. Will the ticket be under his name or hers? Is he supposed to have a physical ticket? What if Rey forgot? 

He is saved from any more anxiety when he catches sight of a very familiar jersey number coming his way. He cannot help but smile as she watches her crane her neck up, trying to sift through the crowd looking for someone. Him. Fortunately, with his towering height, he catches sight of her first and squeezes through the masses to her. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be warming up?” he asks. 

Rey whips around, shock hitting her when she realises it is him. Her eyes sweep him from head to toe, taking in his new appearance. He even did his hair. He does not have to question Rey if she likes what she sees. It is quite apparent with her eyes lingering on him and mouth slightly parted.

But the moment is short-lived with the sudden wrinkle of her brows. 

“Finally! What took you so long?”

“Sorry…?”

“Here,” she says and hands him the ticket. “You’re coming tonight right?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” 

“I mean the after-party.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know!” She shrieks and crosses her arms. She seems to be incredibly shy and defensive about it all. “Maybe you changed your mind or something.”

“Please,” he snorts. I’m a reliable date.” 

Her cheeks flare and she looks down at her feet. “So you’re coming for sure?” 

He reaches out to tickle her the underside of her chin. “Yes, my little Rey.”

“That’s what I thought,” she smiles and shoves his hand away. 

“Wow, clean up on aisle four,” hollers a grating voice right into Rey’s ear. “We’ve got drool on the floor.”

“Ha ha. Very funny, Rose.” Rey’s soft smile instantly evaporates. 

“You’re right, I’m hilarious.” She winks at Rey and turns to Ben. “Sorry, I need to steal her. We sort of have a game to win.”

“Right, my bad.” He takes a step back. “Good luck!”

Rey waves longingly to Ben as Rose pulls her way. Then, he makes his way into the gymnasium. He has seen so many volleyball games but has never cared as much about them as he did tonight. And even though Rey is an incredible player, it never mattered to him until now. 

As soon as the players make it on the court, he has all eyes on her. He has seen her play enough to know that she will be giving her best tonight. Rey tosses a few glances around the bleachers and lands on where he is sitting. 

Sets come and go until they were at their last. Whoever wins this set will win the entire game and everyone was on the edge. Rey is focused, her eyes trained on the ball and her muscles tensed. Both teams had to try their best as they were down to the last few points to determine the result. 

Ben is up on his feet with the rest of the crowd as tension boils. People along the bleachers are cheered for their respective teams while the players along the side-lines holler encouragement and praises. 

A difficult ball comes towards their side of the court, and Rey slides across the floor to save it. She slides across towards the boundary near the bleaches, an arm under her body to facilitate the sliding. She manages to do the impossible – she barely hits the ball back to the side of her playing court where her team members are. They keep the ball in the air and back across the net to the opponent's side. The opposing team fails to save the spike tossed by Bazine and the ball goes slamming down into the court. 

The whistle blows to signal that the last point goes to her team. 

The winning point. 

They win.

Rey gets up with her hand cradling onto her other arm with the slightly serious friction burn. A smile lights up across her face, but she does not have the energy to cheer.

Her arm hurts. 

The medic on standby rushes by her side. 

* * *

Ben makes his way to the medic tent. 

The game is over and everyone else is making their way out of the gymnasium, including some of her team members.

He sees Rey sitting on one of the benches at the corner, cradling an icepack to her arm while she bid her goodbyes to her other teammates.

Easing down to squat beside her, he is at eye level with her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says, trying to stay strong.

Even though she is in pain, she looks just as adorable as ever. She still looks as lovely with her hair dishevelled and skin sweaty.

“Tell me the truth.” He carefully peels away the ice pack Rey is holding from her arm and takes a good look at the injury. It seems like a pretty serious friction burn that will take a while to heel. 

“Well?” She asks, putting the ice pack back in place.

“It’s… not that bad,” he comforts. 

Rey pushes to form a smile, only for a frown to takes its place. Her bottom lips tremble and she turns away from his vision before tears start rolling down her cheeks. 

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong?” Ben tries. “I promise it doesn’t look bad; you’ll heal in no time. 

“Don’t be silly, that’s not why I’m crying,” she mumbles between sobs. She peeks at him again, seeing him staring at her. “Can you stop that? I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what?”

“Pathetic!” She exclaims as she rubs her uninjured forearm across her eyes to wipe away the tears. “I wanted to show you a good game tonight. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Ben bites his bottom lip, trying to keep his smile at bay. “Are you crying… because of me?”

“Tonight was supposed to be our night! I was going to kill it tonight then we were going to dance at the party and have fun and now we can’t even dance! I ruined everything.” She groans and her head drops to bury her face in his neck. “This is so embarrassing,” she mumbles. 

_Tonight was supposed to be their night? What does that even mean?_ Ben’s chest lights up. Did she plan to ask him tonight? Is that why tonight is such a big deal? Is that why she kept bugging him to make sure he was coming to the party?

“Hey,” Ben whispers and lifts a hand to stroke the back of her head. “You did amazing. Forget about dancing. We can still go if you want to. We can chill by the side on the couch or something. I’ll take care of you.”

“You don’t have to try to make me feel better,” she mutters under her breath.

“I’m not. I meant every word. You are amazing and you will always be.”

She lifts her head to stare at him, and he helps her balance by putting one arm around her waist. “As if you pay attention,” she scoffs.

“I do, I always have.”

Rey tilts her head meting Ben’s eyes with her watery ones. She stares at him for a long second, shifting her gaze from his eyes to his lips. 

“Ben… I…” she licks her lips, giving herself a moment to pause and get rid of the soft tremble in her voice. They are still in the gym but have long forgotten about everyone around them. At this moment, the only people they see is each other. “I need to tell you something.”

“I know,” Ben says. “But there’s something I need to tell you first. Okay?”

She is confused but nods anyway. Ben gets out of the squat and sits on the bench next to her. His arm is still around her waist. 

“Close your eyes.” 

“What?”

“Just do it, trust me on this.”

“Okay.”

“Welcome to the confession booth, how can I help you today?”

Rey reopens her eyes and stares at him.

A second ticks by. 

Then another. 

And another. 

And another. 

Rey narrows her eyes. “You.” 

Ben swallows the nervous lump in his throat. “It was me.”

The confirmation brings a strange expression across her face. Not one he is familiar with. He cannot tell what she is thinking or if she is upset. As every moment passes with the deafening silence between them, his stomach twists into more and more knots.

They hear someone clear their throat. It is the medic. 

They silent while he bandages her arm, resuming conversation only after. 

“How long have you known?”

“Not until last week.” 

“Oh.” She shifts to adjust herself closer to him. “I get it now. There was someone new…” She trails off, her eyes dropping to the icepack on her arm. 

Damn it. She should have known. She feels so stupid.

_He’s in the student council for goodness sake! The booth is a student council-initiated donation drive!_

“It didn’t seem right to keep on listening,” he says, trying to save the moment. “I swear I didn’t know it before. If I did, I never would’ve kept on listening to your secrets. I promise I would never–”

She lifts a finger and presses it over his lips to shush him. 

“So what does this mean?” Rey asks.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

He does. 

But he does not know how to say it. He knows nothing about crushes and feelings and relationship and how to handle them. 

“I…” he cannot do it. He cannot bring himself to say it.

“Oh, c’mon,” Rey whines. “I’ve already had a crappy night and for once, just once I wish that you can make me feel better. So help me, Benjamin Solo, if you don’t, I’ll–”

Her sentence cuts short with both his hands cradling her face and he kisses her. His soft lips moulding against hers.

It is short and sweet. Way too short for his liking. And when he draws back to look at her in the face, he finds the words he thought he can never say.

“I like you too, silly.”

“I hate you,” Rey mutters, glaring sheepishly up at him. Not the response Ben is expecting but the playful little smile on her lips tells him otherwise. “Seriously? How do you do it? How do you make everything seem so effortless?”

“Trust me, this isn’t.” If she could feel how quick his heart is beating, she will know.

She gently places her ice pack down and wraps her arms around his neck, still careful with her injured arm. 

Pulling him down, she kisses him once more, this time longer and more intense than the first. 

This time, Ben cannot help but agree. Kissing her _is_ the easiest thing he has ever done. 

He melts into the kiss and wraps both his arms around her to deepen it. Their lips move in sync at a slow, gentle pace. Kissing her feels like second nature to him. 

She gently pulls away from the kiss, lips still lingering on his. “I don’t think this makes us just friends anymore,” she mutters against his mouth.

“I don’t want to be your friend.” 

“Me neither,” she says as they pull away from each other. “Let’s go.”

“Where to?” He asks.

“To the after-party. To celebrate our win.” She gets up and picks up her gym bag. Ben snatches it from her and slings it over his shoulder instead. The only thing he wants is for her to get well soon. “Promise to take care of me?” She asks.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter will be the epilogue.
> 
> Thank you so so so so much for reading 🥺🥺❤️❤️🌹🌹
> 
> Update: I currently don't have the time and capacity to write, but when I do I'll have it uploaded! Thank you for joining me along the journey and I thank you for reading! I apologise if you were awaiting the epilogue 🥺

**Author's Note:**

> 🖤[livsackler.carrd.co](http://livsackler.carrd.co/)🖤


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